Modest Absolution - Book 5 (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 17 - You're my life support

You’re my life support

The group was in pieces, no one spoke as Harry walked over to Louis and when they all saw the look on his face one by one they retreated. Each disappearing behind the rows of seats in awkward silence, Dakota’s quiet sobs were the only sound. Then they were gone, all silent until Harry was looking into Louis’ eyes with confusion. He wasn’t sure if he was angry, nor was he sure what he was feeling but confusion ran rampant through his mind. 

Louis opened his mouth, his heart hammering into his chest as if he were having a heart attack. He reached out but Harry didn’t let him touch his arm, “Harry, wait–“

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose, a frown deep in his face creasing his brow as he drew in long, steady breaths. “I’m not angry at you.”

“Harry,” Louis hiccuped. “I need you understand–“

“I am not angry you called the tail,” Harry breathed as he spoke through gritted teeth. “I am angry that you lied.” Then he stilled, as if he was suffering from an invisible force, he didn’t look at Louis he just stood, like a statue. 

Louis wasn’t sure what was worse, Harry screaming or Harry simply saying nothing at all. He wasn’t sure what would happen if and when the truth came out but this… now, it was another ball game and one he felt ill equip to handle. “Harry,” Louis said his name with all the tender desperation he could muster. “I wanted to tell you, I tried… so many times.”

Harry shook his head, “I get why you did it.”

Louis sucked in a breath, his chest inflating as his heart hammered in his chest and he was deafened by the sound of his blood pumping in his ears. “What?”

“You hate her, with every fibre of your being,” Harry said as he softened and met Louis’ glistening blue eyes.

“It’s just–“

“I know,” Harry said, exhausted. 

Louis stepped closer, he was relieved when Harry didn’t create more distance between them. Louis hands itched, fingers tingled as his body screamed in the absence of Harry’s touch. It was torture. The fear that ran like ice in his veins reminded him not only how much he loathed Dakota but what lying did to him, to his relationship and most of all to his sanity. He took another hesitant step closer but Harry didn’t move or reciprocate his touch, he held Louis hand limply in his own. Just like he used to hold Dakota’s hand. Louis shuddered. 

“I know,” Harry began but he closed his mouth as Louis watched the wheels turn in Harry’s frantic mind. “I know she’s hurt you, fuck,” he groaned. “She’s hurt us both. Believe me, I know that. I know you might never forgive her, I know its twisted that we still see her and I know how much it hurts you to be around her. I know you’re strong, I know you hide a lot from me, to protect me but…” His eyes scanned Louis’ face, “This.”

“I just want her gone.”

“Why did you lie to me?” Harry said, bluntly. “I asked you so many times, I gave you so many opportunities to come clean and you didn’t. Why?”

This isn’t black and white. He wanted to scream, or run over to Dakota and kick her while she was down. To watch her be rejected by Niall was… he frowned. Louis hated her but he wasn’t filled with revenge or success. In fact, he was filled with unease. I did that. He watched her as she lay with her head in Jennifer’s lap and cried. I caused that. He had never seen Dakota cry, not like this and instead of triumph he felt guilt. This isn’t me.