Inside and Out | Seventeen Fanfiction

The Past

"I was an assassin" Joshua said as he started picking at his fingernails.

"An assassin?" Vernon repeated, the stray pieces of the puzzle had finally been put together.

Joshua nodded, "I was very young when they took me in, they murdered my family first. Then they turned me into their killing machine..."

Those shaking hands were now clenched into fists.

"If I didn't do something correctly, they would punish me. In the most inhumane ways too. So I was forced to train until I was considered perfect. By the end of it, I didn't know how to feel anymore. I'm just numb inside and out"

Joshua sighed and took another breath before continuing.

"The reason I was so upset when you took a bullet for me, was because I've never experienced someone doing that for me. I've shot bullets into people for someone else, but no ones take a bullet...for me. Risking their lives for me. I guess it reminded me of my family a bit...

But I was afraid you were going to die."

Vernon felt tearful as he watched Joshua's expression go from serious to pained, he looked very hurt.

"All the emotions I've held in for all those years, suddenly flooded out when I realised I could've lost someone I cared about...

And I guess I want to say...I'm sorry for being an asshole to you and treating you unfairly. I'm sorry to all my friends, I'm surprised they even let me stay." Joshua chuckled as a tear trickled down his cheek.

"They let you stay cause they know that angry person isn't you" Vernon started, "and now you've opened up to us, will you let us help?"

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Joshua agreed that day, and it was like handing his soul to the devil.

He had to be nice. To everyone.

Unfortunately some members took that to their advantage, and would purposely wind him up.
Jeonghan bought a spray bottle and filled it with water for every time Joshua cursed or insulted a member.

Joshua was reaching his breaking point.

"What was that Joshie? What did you say?" Jeonghan threatened, holding the spray bottle to Joshua's face. Joshua was not impressed, obviously.

"I said, fuck off- AH!"

Several sprays of water darted into Joshua's eyes. He grunted at the feeling, and wiped his eyes roughly.

"If you spray me...one more time-"

"You'll do what?" Jeonghan smirked cheekily. "What will you do?"

"Jeonghan, cut it out. You're not helping" Vernon sighed.

"But-"

"No buts, put the spray bottle away" he glared at the blonde. Jeonghan showed his puppy eyes before walking away with the spray bottle, and starting spraying Seokmin instead.

Vernon rolled his eyes, "are you okay Joshua?"

"After that, no not really"

Vernon nodded, but inside he felt sad for the boy...he felt something else too.

"I need a nap, I'll see you all later"

"See you Josh"

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Joshua locked his bedroom door to make sure he wouldn't be disturbed. He turned his back to the door and slid down till he reached the floor, and sat. He sighed loudly.

"Telling him was a bad idea, wasn't it?" he said to himself.

"If anyone were to find out about him, I'd be done for"

Joshua got up from his seat from the floor and rummaged through the paperwork he stole from the kitchen, the work he was rummaging through that one night and Vernon almost caught him.

That paperwork was Vernon's personal information, there was also a folder with his photographs in.

Joshua needed to find out more about this boy so...he just couldn't resist.

"If they were to find out about you, I would never forgive myself..."

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"Woozi! Get your head out of your ass and get moving!" DK screamed loudly. Woozi couldn't stop dozing in and out of consciousness, so he missed the given signal to move.

Vernon and Joshua were in pairs...again.

And by this time, they were used to it, and each other. They knew what the other was going to say before speaking and didn't get in each other's way. They were content.

The leader in the other hand, was struggling with his team mates.

DK and Woozi were screaming, Jeonghan nearly blew Wonwoo's face off cause he forgot to put the gun on safety. And Mingyu's trousers ripped, so this was an eventful evening.

"Vernon, see that guy over there?"

Vernon nodded.

"He's very sensitive to sound, so he's not an easy target..."

"So...what's the plan?"

"Hit him with all you've got I guess"

"And if we fail?"

Joshua was at a loss of words, "if we fail..."

Vernon looked longingly at his friend while he hesitated, taking a moment to just...stare.
He didn't know what he was doing.

"If we fail, than we'll use plan b"

"And what's plan b, exactly?"

"I don't fucking know Vernon, let's just go with it"

"Sounds good to me".