Agent Arizona: The War of Chorus

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The Reds and Blues watch while Doc patches up the Scout's leg. 

"There, good as new." Doc says stepping away. 

"I can't feel my toes." 

"That's normal." Donut reassures. 

"Is it?" Wash aims his rifle towards Felix's face. "H-hey, whoa!" 

"You need to start talking." Wash growls. 

"Hmm, aggressive, paranoid, and a little melodramatic—you must be Agent Washington." The Scout states. 

"Ha! Melodramatic." Tucker laughed. 

"And that means the rest of you are the Reds and the Blues." 

"Oh my God, how did he know that?!" Caboose yelled. 

"We're wearing red and blue armor." Grif answers. 

"But how can he tell?" 

Grif slaps his hand over his visor. "Will somebody please fix his helmet?" 

"How do you know about us?" Xi asks the Scout. 

"Seriously? Come on man, everybody knows about you guys. You're heroes."  

"Heroes?" Sarge questions. 

"You're the team that brought down Project Freelancer. You're some of the galaxy's greatest soldiers." 

"Well, I can see how you might think that." Simmons says looking at the group. 

"Because it's absolutely true!" Sarge states. 

"It's partially true." Doc clarifies. 

"But mainly false." Grif adds. 

"Stop giving him information. What's your name?" Wash asks. 

"Felix. But Wolford knows also knows me as Gates." 

"Okay, Felix, how do you know Zone and what are you doing here?" 

"Do you want the long answer or the short one?" The Scout says weighing his hands as if the stories were in either of them. 

"Do you want another bullet in your leg?" Wash threatens. 

"Hey, that bullet's there because of you." Felix retorts. 

"He's got a point." Tucker says. 

Wash lowers his rifle. "(Sigh) Just...explain what's going on." 

"Uh yeah, like who were those guys that were trying to kill us?" Grif asks. 

"And why haven't we been rescued yet?" Simmons added. 

"Wait, where do you think you are?" Felix inquires. 

"What are you talking about Isaac?" Zone asks. 

"I mean, Rex do you understand where you've crashed?" 

"Well, we've been taking bets. Highest wager's currently on Bermuda Triangle. After that, we've got Gilligan's Island and purgatory." Sarge exclaims. 

"So stupid." Grif shakes his head. 

"No, just think about it. It makes perfect sense." Donut insists. 

"The reason no one's come to help you is the same reason no one's come to help them." Felix gestures to the soldiers the Reds and Blues fought moments ago. 

"Them?" Simmons questions. 

"The people on this planet." Felix clarifies. 

"What planet?" Wash asks.