Broken Pieces

Hard Conversations

Ashlyn's P.O.V:

I called Ali. 

"Hello," I heard her sweetly say.

"Hey, babe. Where are you," I asked? 

"I'm at Alex's house having coffee," she said.

"Ask Alex if she'd mind coming over to our house. Tobin's still asleep and I don't want us to be gone and something goes wrong," I said. Ali asked Alex and I heard her say, yes.

------

I saw the two of them walk up our driveway with their coffee. They opened the door and greeted Ali with a soft kiss on the cheek. 

"I love you, babe," I said as I hugged Ali. I heard her giggle. I love when she does that.

"Thanks for coming over baby horse," I say as I hug Alex. 

"Hey, no problem at all. How's she doing? Ali told me what happened," she said.

"She's doing a lot better. I just don't think she'll ever recover from what she's lived through. I guess it's her way of 'relapsing'," I say with a sigh.

"She looked like she was getting a little better the last time I saw her. I know she's needed a lot of time off and I really do hope she'll be able to come back," Alex said

"With all the relapsing she's been doing recently she hasn't been 'well' enough to get on the pitch, but soccer is going to be her escape from all the things that she's dealing with. She just needs to get mentally stable again and I think she'll feel better. What do you think Als," I ask Ali?

"Yes, I agree. She also needs to be seeing her brother a little more. Having him around really calms her. Keeping her out isn't the right answer, I agree," Ali says. 

I nod my head and say, "That's a good idea. We can have that conversation with her when she's awake."

"Didn't you have her see Cheney when she was in the hospital? Maybe that's something to think about, Ashlyn," Alex said trying to help.

"That may be something to think about. Last time we did that we didn't get what we were hoping for," I said. 

"I think Alex has the right idea though Ash. It doesn't really have to be with Lauren. She just needs someone to talk to, about her feelings and about what she's thinking about," Ali said.

I think about what Ali said and remembered my past and how hard it was for me to open up about my life to other people. I used to do the same things Tobin was doing.

"I would agree with that. We're looking at another hospital visit if she drinks this much again," I say.

Alex, Ali, and I find our way on the couch and we sit drink our coffee with light conversation until I hear Tobin wake up gasping. 

I put my coffee down and run to my bedroom. I find Tobin with her eyes wide open and sweat covering her body. She puts her head in her hands. 

"Come here," I say as I lean on the wall. 

She threw the covers off and walked over to me. She was soaked with sweat from head to foot. 

"That must've been some really hot dream or you were really running," I say looking at the seventeen-year-old.

She smiled at me and laughed. "Pretty bad," she said with her smile fading. 

Ali came in. I guess she walked Alex out. "You look not great," she said.

Again, with a smile, she said, "Pretty bad".

"Take that shirt off and come to talk to us, okay," I ask Tobin?

She nodded her head and went to her room and threw her shirt off. 

She sat down on the couch and became comfortable. 

"I'm in trouble, yeah," she asked?

"Listen, Tobs. I used to do everything in power to suppress my bad feelings when I was younger. I know how it feels and I hate seeing you make taking drugs and drinking a habit. That's not the answer we're looking for okay, bud," I say.

She diverts her eyes from me.

"I understand what you're going through and it's not easy. I think we can help you mentally because I'm going to be very honest with you, you're not healthy at all. You're far from healthy, Tobs. You looked good when you were at school spending a lot of time with your girlfriend and your brother. I've never seen you smile so much when you're around them. You've hit dead bottom, Tobs and I want to see you happy again," I say.

"I've been so afraid to be around Lexa because of the things I was going through. Ashlyn, I know I'm dangerous. I could really hurt her and that scares me. That's why I haven't seen her in a while. I told her that I was starting to feel like I did back at the orphanage. She told me that she's dealt with the old me and she can help me again, but I was just so afraid," she said looking at her fingers.

"Tobias, that's why you went nuts. You needed her. You keep shutting yourself out from the world and you don't realize that you need help," I said in a desperate way. "You need your brother and you need Alexa. They've been trying to help you but you shut them out."

"I need you too," she said quietly. "I miss all four of you. Sometimes I just think it's better to deal with it myself because of how much I love you. I never intentionally try to burden my family with my problems because it breaks them apart. It's happened before and I don't want it to happen again."

I got up and went over to Tobin and we hugged. 

"Don't ever be afraid of yourself. It's okay to struggle and it's okay to be different. It's okay to be broken. Don't ever think that you're breaking apart our family because you brought us together. You saved our lives, buddy," I said. "We need to get Alexa over her. We need to get your brother home and we need to start getting you out of this house. You need to immerse yourself in something that takes your mind of everything."

She nodded her head and we both sat down.

"I want to see you smile again. A real smile. I haven't seen you smile in months. I think we can help you, Tobin. I really do. You need someone who will really listen to you and you need positive people who will encourage you to be you. I just need you to realize that you can't swim right now. You need help staying afloat," I said to Tobin.

"Okay," she said.