Broken Pieces

Moving Forward

Tobias' P.O.V:

"Ashlyn, remember when Ali said 'Yes' when you asked to marry her?" 

"Of course I do, why do you ask," Ashlyn replied.

"Well, I remember how happy I was and how everything went the way I wanted it too."

Ashlyn sighed knowing how much I hated where I was at the moment. "Honestly, Tobin, everything is not going to 'Your' way all the time. This is just called 'Life'," she said as she put her arm around my shoulders.

"I know, but sometimes I just wish things weren't as...well...," I sighed.

"As what?"

"As aggravating and scary as they are," I said in frustration.

"I've never heard you say scary before, and that makes me worry, Tobs," Ashlyn said.

"Ashlyn, I don't like school, and you know that. Every time someone comes up to me in school, they always have something to say. They want my autograph and they're planning my future, Ashlyn. They all say that I'm going to be the next best thing, and they want me to show off. I don't know what to do, Ash."

"I'm going to tell you something really important, Tiger. Only you can determine where you want to go. Not me, not Ali, and certainly not your classmates. It's all in your head. They want you to be someone you may not want to be, and that's completely okay.  I want you to know that you are going to be someone that everyone knows, but soccer does not define you. It's your exceptionally unique character. Nobody can ever match what you've got. Not even the greatest Hope Solo. Your character defines who you are, and I think you've done a mighty fine job of focusing on that, Tiger."

I smiled at the compliment and turned to give my big sister a hug. She gladly accepted it.

"I've heard you've been getting in trouble at school, bud," Ashlyn says as she goes to sit on the couch.

I nod my head and put my hands in my newly dyed hair. Ashlyn looked at me, she didn't look too pleased. 

"What's going on at school, Tobin?" she asked me.

"I just get so angry at people who decide to determine who I am. My classmates who don't watch women's soccer think I'm a chill person. They think they can become best buds with me and talk smack about some of the people that they haven't even met yet. They swear and pick fights with people that have nothing to do with them."

"So, you think that punching them is the best way to handle that situation?" Ashlyn asked confused.

"I don't know Ashlyn, I just got so mad. That dumb blood stabilizer is messing with my head and it's making me angry."

"No, it's not. You're making your own decisions and you're in control of what comes out of your head. If you think that punching someone is a way to fix things, then I would highly suggest re-thinking what you're doing."

I began pacing the living room in frustration. I knew this would come up, I just knew it. 

"Come here," Ashlyn said in surrender. 

I walked over to the couch where she was sitting. She grabbed my hand and moved herself to the stool so that she was eye-level with me. "Look at me, Harris-Krieger." I looked up and she saw how angry I was. "Sometimes, you have to live with what you've got. Your classmates have no idea what they're saying. I love you, and you know that. I want you to trust me in saying that there is nothing to be upset about. You know in your heart that they're in the wrong. Trust your heart and keep it to YOURSELF. I've been where you are, and I struggled too, but I'm telling you the truth when I say that there is no point in picking a fight with someone. Walk away from the bad and immerse yourself in the people that bring you to where your heart wants to be."

"My heart belongs to you though. It belongs with Ali, Lexa, and Went. I'm just so confused. Where does my heart belong to other people?" I ask in frustration.

"You'll know it when you see it."

I stood there looking at Ashlyn and searching her eyes. I lay my head against her chest and she wraps her arms around me. "You have a good heart. Don't change that by fighting anything. Don't' lose yourself," she said in my ear.

Ali walked in on us having this discussion and she was patiently waiting for Ashlyn to knock some sense into me. "Not all people are like you, Harris-Krieger. I know you think we're saying this to make you feel better, but it's true. You have a wonderful heart."

"I appreciate it, Als."

Ashlyn was always right, but sometimes I wish she weren't. School was always a struggle, but maybe it would be less of a problem if I stopped throwing punches at people who WERE indeed making fun of other people. 

"Ash, let's go to the beach. I need to think," I said. 

A/N: WOW! How long it's been, but we're back. Hopefully, you enjoyed it, I certainly enjoyed getting back to writing.