A Modern Love

Watching Things Change

Watching Things Change

The whole next day, Daryl stairs at his ceiling above his bed. There's a knot in the one board of wood that Beth pointed out to him looks like a baby's foot print. Now that's all he has. He looks at it all day, despite being tired from getting home at 5:45 in the morning. He's tired but can't sleep. Not without her there. Not without her telling him "shirt" or "no shirt". Without her cuddled into his side like a puzzle piece. Without her here, Daryl feels dead and unimportant. His life never used to be this bleak, least he didn't think so. Maybe all the drinking numbed his loneliness and that was the only reason he never had a problem with it.

Dasty walks in and jumps on the bed next to him. Moose is on the floor sitting with Daryl's head laying just above his head. Moose raises his head so it touches Daryl's hand. They know he's hurt. They know something has changed in their life. They know she's gone. Daryl pets both of them.

She's gone. She's gone and his life is gone with it. He wasn't lying all those months ago when he said he loved her. Why didn't he tell her that? Why didn't he fight harder. Now he has just an expensive diamond ring and a whole in his heart. There's a knock at the door. He looks at Moose, who he trained to open unlocked doors. It took him months to teach him and Dasty but it comes in handy. He nodded and Moose runs and paws the door knob open. Glenn walks in.

"Daryl?" He calls out.

"Here." Daryl doesn't try to get up. He just stairs at his spot on the ceiling.

"Hey, buddy. How's it going?" Glenn knows how it's going. He feels bad for Daryl. Losing his kid an his fiancé in one night. It sucks. He only wishes he knew what to do.

"Just great....cant you tell."

"I'm sorry. About everything. I don't know what yer going through, but I ...."

"Can you jus get 'er stuff an go, Glenn. I jus' wanna be alone."

"Yeah, sure. I get it. Where's everything at."

"Didn't have much here, but there's a box by the bathroom door. Should have everything." Daryl hates this shit. It's too depressing for him. He feels like he had when he was getting beat by his father. Or when his mother died.

"Okay, well, I'll uh be in touch. Call or text me if ya wanna talk or hang. Get a drink."

"Sounds good."

"By bud." Glenn grab the box and walks to the door and leaves. Daryl feels his whole life crumble into fine little grains of sand a diminish into noting but powder.

He rolls over and sticks his hand under what was Beth's favorite pillow of his. He feels something and pulls it out. It's her scarf that flew into his face that day at the pond. He remember two weeks ago she had it stern under blankets and clothes and stuff cause she couldn't fit into any of her jeans or shirts. She was so mad. She threw a shoe at him on purpose and then cried.

He cries as he holds the scarf to his face. So silky and smells just like her and his favorite perfume she always wore. She must of forgot to put it back in the closet. He doesn't want to give it back and ya know what he isn't.

He finally cries himself to sleep. But all his dreams are of her.

.................................................................................

Beth sits in her apartment on the couch, red sweat pants, white tank top, and sulks. Maggie is making her lunch. She picked her up today at 7 in the morning and Beth hasn't moved since. She just stares at the black tv screen and does nothing but breath. That's all she needs right? Is breathing. Breathing keeps you alive. It doesn't hurt you. It's good for you. And it doesn't make you feel like shit. Breathing is refreshing and that's all she needs.