Always Is Not Forever (Breaking Myself - Part II)

50. The One Where I Am Happy

Jerking out of the sleep, I took deep breaths, frantically ran my hand through my hair and leaned back on the headboard.

Such a long nightmare.

Rubbing my hands on my face, I slid out of the bed, shedding my clothes as I reached the shower and turned it on. The water slid down my body in waves of waterfalls, cleaning the hands of whose I had no idea. I leaned my head on the glass partition, let the water slid away any chances of marks I didn't want to have.

My hands gripped my neck, screaming in the shower at the frustration building in me. They had to stop. I couldn't handle it even if I was healed. I didn't want to have any part of it.

Call Kabir.

He must be busy. He had a flight.

My eyes widened. Quickly, I turned off the shower, grabbed the towel from the upper cabinet, tied it around my body and walked out of the bathroom towards my phone.

Shit. I was late.

Just then my phone rang. It was Nisha.

"I'm going somewhere."

"Where are you going?" Nisha's voice flooded our-my apartment. My habit of calling it our apartment from last two years hadn't changed even though he had never come here in last two years, always going to Delhi and leaving within a week.

I had met him four times in two years, four times when rarely we both would get a chance to talk to each other, creating distance between us. The time difference was the painful the most. I couldn't talk to him much, both of us busy with college and life.

"Kabir's coming back today," I said in an excited tone, jumping up and down. Moving my hands to the back, I removed the towel and dashed to the wardrobe. "And I'm fucking late."

"Yes, he left Delhi in the morning," She teased. "Four months alone."

"I promised him that." I didn't know he would uphold it, didn't know he would still want to see me after the rare conversations we both had.

Days I would have nightmares and when I would try to call him, he would be in lectures and I would cut the call. When he would call back, I would make an excuse and never expose I had a nightmare.

Sparing a glance at the mirror, I blinked my eyes. How would he react when he would see I got laser just like him? I couldn't afford to have glasses the rest of my life. My vision was getting weaker, and at last, with dad's constant jabbing, I got laser at the start of the year.

"How you got late?"

"Kriti and Subha." Sighing, I searched for the clothes he would like but in past two years, I had changed my wardrobe, changed my physical appearance too much. "We were studying late night."

"Okay," She drawled out. "I made a new boyfriend. I think you should know."

"Who? And white or blue?"

"White. It brings out your eyes after you got laser." Snatching the white top from the wardrobe, I buttoned the shirt. "What boyfriend? Is it serious? Does he know you don't do relationships? Does he respect you? Wait, I need to meet him. I need to see if he fits-"

"I have a mother, not a best friend," She complained. "Nothing serious. Just time pass. I was getting bored."

"Relationships are not for time pass." Grabbing the denim, I slid my legs and with difficulty pulled it up. "But whatever and don't-"

"Trust him soon. I know, baby. You get ready, your boyfriend, no correction your husband will be waiting for you."

"Hey! Our marriage is six months later!"