Negina | ✔️

Chapter fourty-four: "Momma okay."

To get to you...
-Selena Gomez
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{~Negina~}

"Negina, welcome to your new office. I hope you will like it here." Khalid opens the door revealing an office. The room contains a medium sized desk along with a matching colored leather chair and couch. On the desk is an Apple Desktop which looks like the top model. Stacked papers and many decorations went along the design.

I fix my scarf uncomfortably while looking at the room. Khalid speaks up, "How is your son?"

I look over replying, "He's fine."

He looks down at the glossy floor, "I wanted to apologize because, your son, he got in trouble because of my daughter."

I shake my head, and try to make a point. "Oh that's nothing to worry about. After all, they are just kids."

"I wanna make it up to you and your son." Khalid declares. I turn to face him while raising my eyebrow in confusion. "Would you mind if I invited you and your son over for dinner tonight?"

I safely take a step back uttering, "Sorry, I can't."

This time he raises his eyebrow in confusion asking, "Why not?"

I sigh wiping my sweaty palms on my pants. "There's a lot of reasons not to. I just can't." I turn away from his intense stare.

"Without a real explanation I'm not taking denies as answers. You're coming, with Saiid and Arezo." He smiles and I smile back in approval. I stare in surprise at how he knows their names. He notices my amusement and quickly explains, "Raihana has gotten very close with Saiid, they talk a lot."

"You're daughter's name is Raihana." I make sure and he nods approvingly. "Jasmine named her before..."

"Before..." I trail off. He looks down, hurt. "Before she died." He tells me. I almost drop my purse hearing his words. "I'm sorry." I say truthfully sorry for his loss. He half smiles at me, "It's not your fault."

"I won't interrupt you any longer than I have. I expect you at my house today at seven. With Arezo and Saiid." He reminds me. I nod and slightly smile. He walks out of the office leaving me in my deep thoughts.

Why would he want to invite me over to his house? This question haunts me for the rest of my day until I get home. Arezo and Saiid, both already home, come to greet me at the door. My problems vanished soon seeing their beautiful smiles.

I sit on the chair while taking my heels off, "By the way, we're invited to Mr. Malik's house today at seven."

He comes back into the hallway staring intensely at me, "Mr. Malik. As in, that Mr. Malik?"

I sigh, "Yes, 'that Mr. Malik'." He leans on the doorway, upsettingly. I try and make the situation better. "Don't make it seem so bad; we're gonna go, eat some dinner with them, you have some quality time with Raihana, and then we come back home and forget about what happened. Simple enough, right?"

He abruptly stands up, scoffing. "Of course! We go there; act like nothings the matter between you two, I have to look into the eyes of my so called 'father' and pretend to be fucking happy!" He yells slamming his flat palm into the wall.

I stand up, angry and annoyed. "I have tried to be a good mother to you. All my life I have wished only the best for you. Yes, I realize that I might not be able to get you the newest phone or the newest pair of shoes. But you have a roof over your head, you have food to eat, and thank the heavens, you have something to dress in. So for once, can't you just go along with me?" I say in Pashto.

I feel all the troubles and feelings of the past years build up in my heart and explode. I stand up from Saiid and go sit on the couch, silently tearing up. I replay my life in my mind; the good and the bad. I cry for my parents, I cry for my siblings, I cry for my kids, I don't cry for myself. Because that is the last thing I'm worried about.

Arezo trots her chubby legs over to me, smiling and laughing to herself. Her smile drops and her curls stop bouncing as she sees me upset. She slowly approaches me and places her hands on my lap, "Moma... ok?" She asks sadly. I wipe my tears away and pick her up in my lap, "Momma okay." I confirm.

She snuggles herself up to me and sits in my lap and I rock her with my chin on her hair. She played with her Barbie doll while I think deeply rocking from one side to the other. Arezo eventually straddles off of my lap and sits on the carpet, surrounding herself by her toys. I stare in awe at my baby, unable to imagine how much she's grown.

"Mori, I'm sorry. Please forgive me." I notice Saiid come into the living room. He kneels down in front of me and holds my hands in his. I see his red eyes staring up at me. He kisses my hands, and I attempt to pull them away but he holds them tightly. "Mori, please I'm sorry. I'm an idiot. Please. I'm just afraid."

He let's go of my hands and leans his back on the bottom part of the couch. His feet lay spread and his hands stay tangled in his hair. I lower myself down to his level. "What are you afraid of?" I ask, trying to understand.

He looks up, "I'm not like him." He whispers completely in tears. I gasp, and wrap my arms around him and he rests on my shoulder.

"Why is it that every time I look in the mirror, I picture myself as him. All I see is his face staring back at me. And it makes me mad knowing that he did that to you, and I wasn't there to protect you. I must protect you, your the most precious thing I'll ever get in life. I don't want to be like him." He raises his head up intensely staring at me with his eyes red and wet from the tears.

I figure that I must make him feel better. I say what first comes to mind and go along with it. "And you never will be. Your smart, your brave, your handsome, your different than Khalid. Physical features don't have to make you related to someone. You're not his son, you are my son. Unless you want to believe so, no one else has the right to say otherwise. And if you don't want to go tonight, I won't make you."

He looks at me with a stare, an unexplainable stare. "Let's go." He whispers. I nod, taking my eyes over to the clock. About enough time for us to get ready. I dress Arezo in her grey long-sleeve tee shirt and a green vest with blue jeans and blue shoes. I do a small braid in her curly hair.

I myself stand at my closet picking out what to wear for a long time. I eventually come apon my Nikah dress, not the large green one that I wore for the engagement party. But the maxi white one that I wore when Khalid asked me to marry him for the very first time. My outfit stayed the same, only this time I added a green matching scarf.

After I get dressed and I'm completely done I get downstairs to see Saiid dressed in his dark pants and grey sweater, tying his shoe laces. I call him, "Are you sure you want to go?"

"Yes. I do."

Authors Note-

Okay, tbh Saiid breaks my heart 😭😭