Negina | ✔️

Chapter fourty-two: "I am afraid of my own father."

All my sins need holy water
-Ed Sheeran
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{~Negina~}

"Khalid?" I whisper. Does he know that he's the President of his father's company. Should I tell him right now that I have his medicine company in my hands. Should I tell him that Saiid is his son. I decide against all of it.

I stand up and turn my head away from him. I close my eyes tightly and all I can see is myself struggling out of Khalid's right grip that night. All I can hear are my yells of denial and pain. The memories would never fade, and I knew this better than anyone else.

"Negina," I am twirled around and I am captured in Khalid's hug. I couldn't do anything, I couldn't push him away. Instead, I let my arms hang against my side and let the tears fall. How I missed his touch. How I hated him, but oh how I loved him.

"I thought Arsen, he..." he looks into my eyes but doesn't break out touch, "I thought you died." He whispers, I look up into his eyes and I am lima in his arms. "I missed you so much Negina."

I remembered his words the night Khalid raped me. He called me useless. He showed me that I am useless. He made me believe that I am not capable of doing anything. I look up into Khalid's eyes. I am worth something. I am needed in this world.

I slap him.

His hands let go of me. I take the chance to pick up Arezo while Saiid follows me out the house, the way out I luckily remembered.

As I drive I can feel my forehead sweating. Saiid stares at me, expectantly. As soon as we arrive home, my head falls onto the steering wheel. How could this have happened. How could I possibly let Saiid find his father.

His bastard of a father. Father? No, Khalid does not deserve that title. Not from my child, at least. For a guy that had the nerve to abuse me like that, he does not deserve to even breath the same air as my own.

"Mom," He asks. I look up at Saiid to find his eyes brimming with tears, just like my own. I couldn't help but notice how much similarity Khalid and Saiid have in common. I've never noticed that before. Probably, because I refused to believe in that.

"Mom, say something. Your scaring me." Saiid cries.

I couldn't say anything. I didn't have the energy to explain things to my son. Things that he deserves to know, yet, I can't get the courage to tell him. All I could do is let my tears roll down my eyes and watch my sons actions.

He hugs me. He holds me tight like his life depends on it. I let out a crying sound, which I have been holding back for quite a long time now. I don't know what to say. Is there really anything to say?

"I didn't mean for this to happen." I whisper. Saiid lets go of the hug and looks me in the eyes. The same state his father gave me right after he insulted me for the first time. A look full of regret.

"I'm sorry Mori, I shouldn't have gone to her house in the first place. I-I... I'm sorry." He says. Saiid looks away from me, starting into the dark night through the blurred window.

I take ahold of both his shoulders and turn him around, basically making him look at me. "Saiid. There is nothing that you need to be sorry about. I should be the person apologizing. I should have told you about him. I'm sorry, I just couldn't get the nerve to."

He smiles at me with a half smile. That smile is not a real smile, how do I know? I do it all the time when I want people to leave me alone. I smile back at him, only my smile is real. In a way, I can feel Saiid's self-esteem about his father grow lower than possible.

I open the door and get out into the cold night. Carefully, I carry my sleeping Arezo into her room and lay her down into her bed. I was getting her ready for bed before Raihana called and told me about Saiid.

I can see now, why he fainted. I, myself, a forty year old woman, was about to pee my pants when I saw Khalid again. I kiss Arezo's soft cheek before turning the lights off, her night light stayed on, and heading out of her room.

That night I lay in bed, unable to sleep. What will happen tomorrow when I go to the Malik Industries again. Will Khalid be there? Will I be the president?

Too many thoughts were pushing away my sleep.

{~Raihana~}

"Dad! What the hell was that!?" I yell, turning away from the just slammed door in my face. My dad looks away from me, ashamed in himself. I walk up to him and take a hold of his chin. "What. The. Hell. Just. Happened?" I stopped in between each word, for him to finally reply to me.

He shakes my hand away, "nothing. It's was absolutely nothing!"

I take my hand away, "plaar, please, tell me what happened. I'll try to understand. I'll try to help."

He smiles and twirls me around. He wraps his arms around me from behind, "I can't tell you without wasting another few pointless hours of my life."

I hum, "That's okay, I'll still listen." I unfold his arms away from me and look at my father's eyes. "I'll always listen. I'll always care for you. And you'll always matter to me."

He thinks for a moment before replying with an agreement. We sit on the living room couch, taking for hours. By the end of it all, I had tears in my eyes.

This is where my life has come, I am afraid of my own father.

Authors Note~

I've been getting so much support lately and I'm so thankful for each and every one of you. Is anyone ready for the sequel????