You Stole My Heart With Your Diamond Blue Eyes (Kellic)

Chapter 30

 i told u i'd update (;;

huge trigger in this i warned you

p.s. i almost cried while writing this so good luck

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[Kellin’s POV]

The trip was cut short, and we went home that day. I just told the guys I had an emergency I needed to be there for back at campus, and they believe me. Well, most of them did anyways, Jesse didn’t, resulting in me spilling my guts to him about everything and him threatening to kill my Uncle. So did Vic, he was furious, but I told them both not to make it worse. I didn’t want to tell anyone else because of his threat. I was still scared and I didn’t want this to happen again.

This whole thing took a huge chunk out of me. I wasn’t even me anymore, I was just a shell of who I used to be. I’m worse than I ever was before. I don’t laugh or smile, or even talk much. I’ve completely shut Vic and Jesse out, avoiding them as much as I can. I think Vic was starting to get irritated with me, because he stopped trying to pry so much and started to leave me alone.

I was currently at home, lying in my bed looking at the wall when Vic came home from school for the day. “You didn’t go to work again today?”

“No.” I said simply, barely loud enough to hear, still facing the wall.

“You haven’t been to work since we came back, which was a week ago.” He said, slightly annoyed.

I didn’t answer and Vic sighed, indicating that the conversation was over. This is how our conversations have been lately. I could feel ourselves growing more and more apart, but I didn’t care and apparently neither did Vic. It was sad, but I didn’t have enough motivation to do anything about it. That’s why I haven’t been to work too, I’ve lost all motivation to do anything. Even my relationship wasn’t worth trying anymore.

Tears were brought to my eyes and I didn’t even bother to hold them back, letting them travel down my cheeks silently for the tenth time today.

This what were my days were like now. Crying and thinking about ways to kill myself, oh and arguing with Vic. It was pathetic, really, but I didn’t care enough.

“Kell, you gotta stop this.” Vic said, taking a seat on the edge of my bed.

I didn’t respond, but he didn’t stop talking.

“You can’t keep living like this, wallowing in self-pity all day and shutting people out. I’m worried, Jesse’s worried, and Jack, Rian, and Alex are starting to worry as well. I get that what happened to you was really, really horrible, but you can’t let it affect you this much. You’re letting him win and get the best of you, and that’s what he wants. Please, I miss you. I want the old Kellin back, the one I know.” He finished. I wanted to say something, anything, but words failed me and I was left speechless.

Vic sighed again, and got up off the bed, heading toward the door. “You know what? Fine. Sit there and stare at that damn wall all day. I don’t care anymore. I give up.” He said the last part under his breath, but it still stung nonetheless.

He slammed the door and my eyes clouded with tears once again. Frustrated with myself that I was crying once again, I kicked the covers off me and wiped at my eyes furiously.

“Fuck!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. I was falling apart, literally. I don’t know how to help myself anymore. Vic doesn’t even know for fuck’s sake. I was a raging mess, and for some reason I couldn’t calm down. My blood was boiling, and sooner or later I was throwing lamps and other shit around the room.

I went into the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror, hating what I saw in the reflection. My eyes were bloodshot, I had black circles and bags under my eyes, my teeth were yellow and I stunk from lack of not cleaning myself. I got so pissed off from what was in front of me that I punched the mirror, making it shatter before me.