You Stole My Heart With Your Diamond Blue Eyes (Kellic)

Chapter 20

omg you guys sound like you want kill me iM SORRY but it's okay there will be some gay vv soon just be patient alright ily guys 

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[Kellin's POV]

I don't even wanna know what my face looked like as he said those words, it was probably priceless. One mixed with confusion and terror that's for sure. As he started speaking I held my breath, afraid that if I didn't I would miss something he said. Although it's true that I'm mad at him, I still care about what he has to say.

"This isn't going to be easy because I never open up to anyone about this stuff. The only people who know are my parents, Tony, and Jaime. Please don't use what I'm about to explain against me, it's literally taking everything in me to tell you." He spoke quickly. He was nervous, more nervous than I was. I nodded to let him know that I agreed.

"Alright, so there was this guy. His name was Jeremy, and we dated for about two years. When I first met him, it was love at first sight. He was charming, handsome, funny, caring, he had it all." He paused to take a deep breath. I could tell that talking about this made him really uncomfortable and I almost felt bad, but I really needed some answers.

"We started dating not even two weeks after we met. We just collided so well, it's like we were made for each other, I really loved him. But anyways, it was all rainbows and daffodils until about ten months into the relationship when his father died. They were really close, closer than the average son and father. It crushed him, for months he just lied there on the couch crying, he even lost his job. He went into such a deep depression, I really didn't think he would come out of it. I tried talking to him and being there for him, but he would just shut me out. About three months after the loss he became really abusive and violent. He would come almost home every night drunk, and beat me. Sometimes it was really bad, like until I was unconscious, then other times it was only a punch to the face. I wanted to leave him, I really did, but I couldn't. He would just break down and start crying after he was finished with me. He was broken, and I was determined to fix him. But I couldn't, he broke me instead." He looked away and I could've sworn I saw a tear fall down his cheek.

I cupped his face in my hands and forced him to look at me, and sure enough there were a few tears escaping out of those big brown ovals of his. I hate seeing him cry, he looks so miserable and sad. "Is that why you're so afraid of a relationship with me?"

"It hurt so bad." He whimpered, and broke down even more, bottom lip trembling, eyes welling up until he just exploded into sobs. I instantly pulled him over into my lap and let him bury his face in my shirt. I rubbed my hand up and down his back gently as his body heaved in and out in spurts.

After a little while he calmed down and regained his composure. I had no idea that all this hurt him so badly, it made all the anger instantly fade away, only to be replaced with sympathy and guilt.

"There's more." He spoke, and got my attention again. He looked at me with pained, puffy eyes, and I decided right there that that's my least favorite sight to see.

"This went on for about eight more months until Mike found out that he was abusing me, he made me leave him. I didn't even get any of my furniture or my belongings from him, he had everything besides my clothes. I was so mad at Mike for taking me away from him, even though he abused me and everything I still loved him. I loved him more than I loved myself, and being ripped away from him ruined me even more and I fell into a depression. I started self-harming, not eating, I was just broken and I didn't want to be fixed. I just wanted Jeremy." He had stopped crying by now, which was good, but he was clearly still upset. I for one was shocked at all this, I mean he went through so much just for one guy. I've never been in love so I don't really get how he would put up with that, but I'm not going to question. I don't have the right.

He spoke, "It was only when I tried to take my own life did I finally get out of the rut I was in. I was just done with living, I was miserable all the time and I didn't want to do it any longer, so I tried to hang myself. The person who found me was Mike, and that's something I'll never forgive myself for. I set such a bad example for him, and that's probably why he killed himself. Like if his big brother tried it, why can't I?" He started crying again, wallowing up in self-pity.

I grabbed a hold of his shoulders and made him look at me. "Vic, listen to me. What your brother did was not your fault by any means. You can't put that on yourself, it wasn't your fault. You were the best big brother that he could've ever asked for. Don't you dare pin something like that on yourself." He just shook his head some more, like he was doing during the whole speech. I can't believe that he thinks it's his fault. That's the worst possible thing to pin on yourself.

After he gained his composure again, he spoke again "So I got help, only for Mike though. He talked to me and told me how much he hated seeing me like this and he practically begged me to go get help, and so I did. I went to therapy for about a year and was slowly getting back to the old me. I was so involved and focused on getting me help, I didn't even notice Mike slowly slipping away. I didn't notice the scars on his wrists or the meals he skipped. I didn't notice that he never smiled anymore or laughed. I was too selfish to focus on anyone else but myself for more than two seconds, and because of that Mike is gone. I'll never forgive myself." He said bitterly.

"Vic, it's not your fault and you know that. Please don't do this to yourself." I pleaded with him. He just shook his head and played the subject off.

"Anyways, after I finally started getting over him, he started to bother me. He would text me and call me every day saying how sorry he was and how he's changed now. I would've went back to him too if it wasn't for Mike. He was the only support system I had during that time and if I didn't have him I'm one hundred percent sure that I would've went back to the bastard."

"Eventually he finally gave up, after about 4 months of nonstop calling and texting, he finally stopped bothering me. That fucking excuse of a relationship ruined me forever, and I'm sorry that you're getting the backlash from something that happened a few years ago. But you have to understand where I'm coming from here and why I'm so hesitant to do this with you. I can't get hurt again, because if I do, then I have no one to help me through it. Sure I have Tony and Jaime, but they're not the same as Mike. I wouldn't be able to survive another heart break, I'm not strong enough." And with that, he finished. I gave what he said some thought, then spoke.

"Do I make you happy?" I asked.

"What?" He said, looking both shocked and confused to such an off topic question.

"Do I make you happy?" I asked again, saying like it’s obvious this time.

He took some time before answering, "Yeah, yeah you do." He said softly and offered a little smile that I returned.

"Do you trust me?" I asked again.

"Yes.. Why are you asking these questions?" He said curiously.

"Just hear me out, okay?" He nodded and I continued.

"Isn't that what a relationship strives off of, happiness and trust? Listen I know you're afraid that I'm going to hurt you, because that's all you know, it's what you're used to, getting hurt. But I promise you if you just give me a chance, then you won't regret it. Hurting you is the last thing I would ever want to do, all I want to do is be able to care for you and to make you happy. Let me do that for you, please. You won't be sorry."

"Kells-"

"Before you answer right away, take some time to reflect on what I said. Take a day or so to really think about it, and then tell me your answer." I interrupted him, then went to go get up, until I felt a palm on top of my hand.

I turned around to face Vic again, only to be met by a pair of lips. The lips belonged to the cute little Mexican that I've been wanting to call mine for so long. Our mouths moved together in harmony, and just like before, all I felt were fireworks. I swear each time I kiss this man it just gets better and better. He's addictive that's for sure, I could kiss him for hours.

When we pulled away, both a little out of breath, we looked at each other and smiled. Vic shook his head yes, which I was thrilled at, but I wanted to hear him say it. I wanted to be able to hear him say the words that would finally make him mine.

"Say it."

"Yes."

And with that one word, I didn't need permission to kiss him once again.