Always Is Not Forever (Breaking Myself - Part II)

38. The One Where I Confess the Truth

"I didn't sleep with her," I confessed, utterly confused. "Who said that?"

Snorting, she let go of my shirt and inched back. "Now lie as well."

"I'm not." I grasped her shoulders in my hands. "I didn't have sex with her. Trust me. I didn't. We were kissing, but I couldn't do it, so I had left."

"What?" She asked, confused by my statement. "But she said how your body looked beneath the clothes, about your hands, and huh."

"She lied to you," I gritted, clenching my jaw and finding ways to fire her or deport her back to New York. When my gaze settled on hers, all I could see was the insecurity lying in her eyes. "You don't trust me."

"How do I?" She spat, stood up from the floor. "You left me. Remember? Who knows what you did in New York?"

"I would never lie to you."

"But you still kissed her. She saw you without clothes," She said dryly. "Wait. I go to Pranit and get naked."

"Don't even say that," I hissed, took long steps and curled my hand around her left upper arm. "Don't even think about it."

She met my eye, smirking. "Why? You're allowed to kiss anyone and I am not?!"

"We had broken up," I said slowly to make her see that I regretted what I had done, that I was furious at my own self for letting myself kiss her, that I hated when she undid my shirt. "In my mind, we weren't getting back together."

"What if we had fought after marriage?" She pushed my chest, beating against it, thumping her hands. "You would've gone, kissed someone and came back and said Alina we were fighting. I had thought we will divorce each other."

I flinched, stepping back from her. How would I make myself trust me? How would we get through what I had done? She wasn't wrong. If she had done the same thing, I would've gotten angry, yelled, screamed and who knows what else I had done.

"I didn't sleep with her." I lowered my gaze to the floor. "I'm not lying. Let me tell you what happened." Hoisting my gaze, I sat on the edge of the bed. "Can I? I swear on everything in this world I didn't sleep with her."

She blinked her eyes, perched on the dressing chair. "Swear on your mom."

"I swear on my mom," I replied instantly. "How could you think I can do this with someone who's not you?"

"Does it matter?" She brushed her fingers through her corset skirt and I held my tongue to not say her bending was showing her cleavage. "You kissed her."

"I-" No excuses of mine would help here, no excuses of mine would change the turmoil and tension going through us. "Punish me if you want, but don't go away, please."

"How far had you both gone?"

Gathering guts, I looked straight into her eyes, communicating the shame and guilt I felt and yet couldn't do anything about it. Mistakes. Cheat. What had I done? Opening the mouth, I recited the incident to her.

As the coat touch the floor, I didn't care to look down and see her nakedness. Just do and get over it. Touch someone else to forget about Alina. You need to forget about her by hook and crook.

Clutching her hips tightly under my grip, I moved back to the bed and let us fall. My hands were on her waist, skimming my fingers through it. I smiled against her lips, ignoring the feverish hands working to remove my shirt. Her laughter would come in a second, complaining why was I trying to tickle her, but all I heard was a moan.