The Butler and I (BWWM)✔

38

"What's your plan for today?" I ask Christopher as him, Jake, and I eat breakfast together. Christopher takes a bite of his bacon thinking about it for a second. 

"Mhmm," Christopher says, "I was thinking about going to the shelter today," Christopher started volunteering at a shelter in town in his free time. He says he feels useful when he's there since he is not in a position where he is saving a country anymore. "You need me?" He asks. I shake my head no. "What about you guys?" He asks us. 

"I am planning on having a nice relaxed day," I say. I am off this weekend and Luke is coming today. He says he is coming later today so we decided we would meet up tomorrow or something. "Jake, you are going to your dad's," I tell him. "I want a kid's free and family free house," I add. I love them, but I honestly just want to be alone, binge-watch Netflix, and eat in my bedroom without anyone bothering me. I don't want to be cutting someone, saving them. I don't want to hear Jake's complains about stupid stuff, I want to be only with me, myself, and I.

"I see the hormones are reacting," Christopher says under his breath. I kick him under the table, "ow," he says. He sticks his tongue out. He is so childish sometimes, he laughs and goes back to his food. 

"I see that you want to get rid of me," Jake says. "I will be spending a fun weekend at my father's where we do all types of manly stuff," I shake my head. 

"Manly stuff?" I ask him.

"Yes," he replies. 

"Have fun doing manly stuff whatever that means," I don't believe there is manly stuff. There is just stuff, only Juan would tell him a statement like this. "Go pack your stuff," I tell him. He is done eating his food anyway, he puts his plate in the sink and leaves the kitchen to pack his clothes. 

"When are you telling him?" Christopher asks me referring to me telling Jake that I am pregnant. It's harder than it looks, the complication with this whole pregnancy is enough for me to go crazy. I don't want to bring Jake into this whole thing until I know where I stand in it. 

"I'll try to next weekend," I tell him. Christopher nods his head. 

"Well, I'll be leaving now," he says. I nod my head, I am one step closer to having my perfect weekend alone. Christopher goes up the stairs, I clean the plates, that's what you get for living with a bunch of men. Thye won't even clean their plates, but  I guess it's the man I live with. Maybe, the baby will be a girl, I shake my head not trying to overexcite myself about this whole thing. As I finish washing the plates, I hear my doorbell ring, I look at the time on my phone. Juan is here early, he said he would be here an hour from now. 

I walk to the door to spot Luke, "what are you doing here?" I ask him surprise. He is here like twelve hours earlier. "I thought you said you would get here tonight?" I ask.

"I lied," he replies. "Wanted to surprise you," he says. He gives me a hug. I wrap my hands around his waist hugging him back, "how are you?" He asks me pulling away.

"I'm fine," I answer him. "How are you?" I ask him back.

"Great now," he replies. I chuckle, Christopher comes up behind me. "Hey," Luke says to him. 

"Hi man," Christopher replies to him. "Great to see you," he adds. "I have to leave now, but I'll see you later?" He asks. Luke nods his head. Christopher grabs me from behind me, "we have a lot to talk about," he whispers in my ear. I nod my head, he lets me go and leaves. Luke looks at me with a weird face, I ignore him. A lot of people question how my brother and I act with each other, nothing wrong with it, we are just very close. 

"Luke!" I hear yelling from behind me. Jake comes up running to him and hugging him. "I missed you," he says. 

"I missed you too," Luke replies. "So, what have you been up to?" He asks him. "Did you make some friends?" He asks him.

"Yes," Jake replies.  "She's a sweet girl."

"Oh, it's a girl?" Luke asks. Jake nods his head. "What's this special girl's name?"

'''''''

Jake went upstairs to shower before leaving for his father. Luke turns back to me finally being alone since he came here. "So, I have something I want to tell you," he says. I then remember he told me that over the phone the other day. I was so busy with work that I didn't have a chance what he meant by that. Was he going to tell me that he didn't want to do this anymore after practically begging me to keep the baby? What was he going to say?

"What is it?" I ask him. 

"I know you're going to be mad, but I just hate lying and I don't know what's gotten into me. Lying is not my style," he says. I start getting worried about why he is lying to me. I hate lying, honestly is all I always expect from someone and I hate that he probably ruined that between us. "I care about you," he starts. "I really do and I enjoy your company, your funny, kind, and you just have a positive vibe."

"Luke, just take the bandage off," I say. I don't like people trying to compliment me before telling me bad news. 

"When you told me about the baby, I panicked," he says.

"So, you don't want the baby?" I ask him.

"No, I do," he answers. "I really do, but I kind of told you that I loved you because it would convince you to keep the baby," he blurts out real fast.

"What?" I ask him.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't know what to do and I made a mistake," I pass my hands over my face. Is he serious right now? I thought he was just this innocent person, I thought he was different than the others, but he is just like the other men out there. He is even worse than the other men out there, he is even worse than Juan who made me hate myself, hate my color, he's worse. At least when Juan tells me that he loves me he means it, but how could he? Why would he lie about something so important ad what hurts most is the fact he knows how I feel about bad relationships. 

I didn't expect him to say the L word, he didn't have to. "How could you?" I ask him. I make sure to keep my voice down so Jake doesn't hear us. "You are a monster, Luke," I say. 

"Christine," he tries to approach me, I pull away. "I'm sorry," he says. "I just didn't know what to say and I said the first thing that came out of my mind."

"And you thought lying about loving me would be the right place to go. I'm sensitive about this and you fucking knew that, all you had to do is be honest," I say.

"Christine," he says. "Just calm down."

"Don't you dare tell me what to do, don't fucking tell me to calm down. Did you tell yourself to slow down when you blurting out the words to me?" I ask him. He shakes his head no, I huff. "You know what, I don't even want to look at you right now. You are a shitty ass human being, you are no different than everyone out there you think you're better than. When I use my money for my benefit I don't lie about it, I don't hurt others in the process. You," I say pointing my index finger at him. 

"You just hide under your innocent, I grew up poor, my father's abusive storyline. You know what, you might even be worse than your father," I say. I know I am going to regret saying half of these things when I calm down, but now I don't care. 

"You don't mean that," he says.

"Well, I do," I say crossing my hands over my chest. "Just get out, Luke," I say. He looks at me raising his eyebrow. "Get out!" I practically yell this time. I walk to the door to open and make him get out. As I open the door,  I see Juan standing there about to ring the doorbell. He looks at me then at Luke. I haven't seen him since that awkward kiss I've forced myself to forget. 

"What's wrong, Chris?" He asks me. 

"Nothing," I say shaking my head. 

"I could hear you yelling and you look like you are one second away from breaking down into tears, what is it?" He asks.

"Jake will be here in a minute," I say about to walk away. He pulls me stopping me from going inside.

"I asked you a fucking question," he says. 

AN

Men ain't shit...

Au Revoir...