What if I dissapeared.
What if I couldn't handle the toxins of existance no more.
What if my anxiety took over my life.
What if stress got the better of me finally.
What if I told you all this?
Would you care?
Would you comfort me and hold my hand?
Would you be my temporary flash light until I can see through the darkness again?
What if I dissapeared or died?
Would you miss me?
Would you cry and hurt for me?
Would you remember me?
Would you keep the memories you had with me?
What if I stayed?
Would you cherish me more if I told you all my problems and tell you how badly i'm hurting right now?
What if I told you my smile is sometimes fake and that i'm not okay?
Would you believe me?
Would you be mad at me for lying about my happiness?
Would you hate me?
What if I told you i'm trying really hard and my best at being okay?
And that i'm doing my very best to handle this on my own because I don't wanna bother you.
And that I stopped telling all my problems out of fear of being a burden.
What if....I told you sometimes I don't wanna exist...That I'm tired often because I can't sleep at night because of my insomnia and that sometimes I wanna dissapear or die.
And that I have a lot of negative thoughts under all my bubbliness.
And that I feel stressed due to it all.
What if i told you all this in hopes of you realizing who I actually am
and that I need a hand to hold sometimes, and I need a soft voice to tell me it will be okay, truthfully, and that I just need someone to listen and be there for me on my worst days and my best days and always.
What if I need someone to actually care for me?
Would you be that person?
Would you care for me?
Do you care about me?
Do i mean somthing in your life?
What if I said this is all true?
What if this is actually who I am?
Could you still look at me the same?
Could you still stand to talk with me?
Could you still love me?
What if this is me.
What if this is who am?
What if?
- If I disappear I fear that no one will notice my absence.
