The Script (Liam Payne)

Chapter 23

“Me? I’m scared of everything. I’m scared of what I saw, I’m scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you.”- Dirty Dancing(1987)

Chapter Twenty-Three

My eyes crinkle since the sun rays blaze right on my lids, making them open abruptly. I rub my eyes with the back of my hand and clear my vision. My tears from last night do not help a bit to clear the blur visuals which spread across my vision and I momentarily close them again. It is hot, too hot for my liking. I feel something strong wrapped around me and my eyes flutter open, again, but in a complete shock and distress right now.

Liam wraps his arms strongly around my waist, bringing his torso lied against my front. My forehead presses into his exposed upper chest and his face seems to press in my hair. I stop dead in my tracks and last night comes crushing back to hit me. How it all started from a dive, Liam made food, we talked, we laughed, we discussed things I never imagined him to say, we walked together and then we kissed. The image of the last thought keeps playing in my mind, if only I could erase it from his memory.

I lean in more towards his chest, automatically. His odor fills my nostrils and I feel like taking in more. His smell is so addictive, so nice. It smells like a man, like Liam. I shake my head frantically, and suddenly slow my pace, not wanting to wake him up. I need to get rid of these thoughts I have started thinking. It isn’t healthy and it isn’t making any sense to me.

We fought again last night. Though, it wasn’t like our normal fights where we literally shout till our throats pain, but this was more of a silent killing fight. After my first ever intimate moment with my husband, he sure did ruin it for me. But obviously, what did I even expect from him? He has made it clear from the start that he isn’t interested in me. It’s not like he is going to change in a week and maybe, start liking me. I’m just dreaming.

Maybe, if I keep my distance from him, I can clear my mind and not let him be the point of my brain discussion for some time. It makes sense now and I hope I can stand up to this decision of mine, unlike the previous one. The previous one didn’t work out obviously and I have to let my guard up and not let him bother me. Yesterday was no different but today will be.

Liam shifts in his sleep and moves back a little but his arms remain around me, as tight as ever. How did he even get here? I’m so sure he will freak out when he gets up and will start blaming me for this. As usual. He must have shifted in his sleep. But why did he come back in this bed after last night?

I crane my neck a bit to have a look at him. He looks so childlike and at peace when he sleeps that it makes my heart swell. This man doesn’t even look like the monster he supposedly shows he is. His mouth is half open and a smile tugs at the corner of my mouth. His breathing is mediocre and his arms tighten around me. No, it’s not suffocating at all. It’s just… a foreign feeling. My eyes lower down, over his chin which show his soft stubble and settle on his neck. He has a light brownish birth mark right at the centre of his neckline and my hand instantly rises, my fingers moving over his mark, slowly. I don’t know what I’m doing but I feel his skin is too hot under my touch. His face shifts and I withdraw my hand in a jiffy. Thank God, he doesn’t wake up.

Before my mind wanders in some other direction, I try to wiggle out of his grip. I gently lift his arm and it drops back considering it is too heavy for me to move. I try again and I succeed a little and his hand drops awkwardly to my side. I force my body up and I lift myself off the bed. One last look at him and I walk towards the door.

He groans I stop in between. I look behind and his eyes are still closed and he plops to the other side, lying on his front. I breathe out and make my way out of the room, closing it soundly behind me.