Abusive (Jikook) (Vkook) (Vhope)

Soulless

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"I..." Jungkook whispered. He couldn't take it, he knew if Jimin went away, that would be it. But he promised to reevaluate, so maybe just maybe, he would come back. He would consider giving Jungkook a clean slate, a past that dark won't be erased but he hoped that it would fade as he changed.

His actions had destroyed everything. He wasn't even sure if he himself wanted Jimin to reconsider. He had hurt the most precious being in his life, and all that for a grudge he probably didn't even hold. His ego and unreasonable thinking made him into a monster and what hurt him the most was that Jimin stayed. He took it all, just because he loved him. But Jungkook wasn't sure if Jimin did love him anymore, why would he?

"Okay. But...You will come back, right? You--" Jungkook was stammering, he kept looking down at the floor. He didn't deserve a second chance, he knew it.
"I will reevaluate, Jungkook. I will think it through, I just need some time alone. I want to...Think. Too-- too much has happened. I just need to breathe. " Jimin choked a little on his tears. Jimin slowly cupped Jungkook's face making him look up at them and their eyes locked.  Jimin was leaning it! It was after so long that Jimin was going to kiss Jungkook, Jungkook's heart raced, he was hungry for this. He wanted Jimin to kiss him like he wanted to, just own him. Just as their lips touched lightly, Jimin's phone rang, it was Yoongi. Jungkook looked down defeated, he needed this so much and just as he was going to get some assurance of a second chance, Min Yoongi struck again.

"H-Hello?" Jimin stuttered.
"Jimin-ah" Yoongi said in a low tone.
"Hi, hyung!" Jimin tried to sound fine. He glanced at Jungkook who was looking down at the floor.
"Mm. Jimin-ah. Hyung's back home." Yoongi said a little seductively.
"Really? How come?" Jimin said surprised and Jungkook looked up hearing his surprised tone.
"I missed you too much, Jiminie." Yoongi breathed.
"Um, hyung.." Jimin stuttered.
"Ah, nevermind. We have a live tomorrow. To inform army about Hoseok going to Japan. So be there by 10, okay?"
"Okay, hyung." Jimin said feeling slightly uncomfortable.
"Good boy. And you can tell Jungkook too. " Yoongi huffed and hung up.

"Jungkook?" Jimin stroked Jungkook's hair back. Jungkook closed his eyes, breathed in and then opened his eyes.
"Mm, love?" He breathed and pulled Jimin onto his lap. Jimin ended up straddling him, and stroked the back of his head as Jungkook softly kissed his neck. He was getting lost in the feeling.

Both Jimin and Jungkook were lost in trance, what kind of a feeling was this?
Jungkook was certain that Jimin was going to walk away, all he could think about was him leaving, and moving on. Jungkook kissed his neck deeper as the thought popped in. His tears and saliva wetting Jimin's neck.

Jimin closed his eyes and pulled Jungkook closer. His heart said that Jungkook had changed, he did feel sorry but he needed to see this change. He needed to be made to believe, a simple sorry couldn't suffice. Jimin was pulling on his hair and moaning softly. His body aching to hold Jungkook and kiss him but he wanted to make him work for it. Jimin slowly pulled away from Jungkook at looked at him.

He slowly wiped his tears away, and Jungkook closed his eyes again. Jimin could see that Jungkook was begging for him to kiss him.

"Let's sleep. We have a live tomorrow..."Jimin whispered against Jungkook's neck.
"O-okay. " Jungkook nodded. And got up. They headed off to Jungkook's room.

"Let's take a shower.." Jimin grabbed Jungkook's hand. He wanted Jungkook to see what he had done, it was necessary.  Jungkook was repenting but he needed to see the repercussions of his poorly thought actions.
Jungkook nodded but he was so afraid. He was going to see Jimin's body after so long, he wasn't ready. He wanted to help Jimin get healthier but he knew that he'd have to face this. He had made Jimin feel ugly and now he had to make amends.

Jimin took Jungkook's shirt off and waited for Jungkook to do the same to him. He took his hands and placed them at the hem.
Jungkook slowly pulled Jimin's T-shirt off and looked at his body. Jimin looked so frail, his collarbones sticking out, ribs slightly visible and no fat at all. Jimin then took his pants off and closed his eyes, he stood there bare now. His legs were so skinny and now his face looked at lot tinier now.

Jungkook had felt Jimin's body, but seeing him like that made everything worse. He was now seeing only the physical harm caused to Jimin, he couldn't even begin to imagine the emotional trauma.
Jungkook's eyes welled up with big fat tears. He looked into Jimin's eyes, teary and full of emotions.

They entered the bath cubicle and turned the hot water on. Jungkook couldn't bear looking at Jimin, he was so ashamed. Jimin glided his finger along Jungkook's jawline and made him look into his eyes.

Their eyes communicating. Jimin placed Jungkook's hands on his collarbones bones. Jungkook looked away as he now sobbed lightly.

"This is what loving you did to me, Jungkook. " Jimin closed his eyes, his heart pounding as the words "fat" and "ugly" echoed.
"I'm so scared, Jungkook." Jimin whispered as the water ran along their bodies. Jungkook was crying, he wasn't holding back, he truly was sorry.
"Jim--"
"It scares me how much I...." Jimin was crying harder now.
Jungkook held Jimin close and leaned his forehead on Jimin's.

Jungkook's fingertips brushed against Jimin's spine and Jimin breathed out sharply.
"What have I done?" Jungkook whispered as they both sobbed. Jungkook couldn't bear the fact that he was responsible for Jimin's ill perception of himself. His heart pounded and told him that Jimin deserved so much better. Even though he knew nobody in this world could love Jimin like he did, but a love that hurts so much is never worth it. A lover that hurt you by hitting on your weaknesses is worse than an enemy who decided to break your strength.  

"This is fucked up..I--I am willing to give you a second chance, after all that you've done, I still care about you." Jimin was shaking and Jungkook was rendered speechless.

After everything, still.

Jungkook cupped Jimin's face and pecked his lips softly. He kept repeating the kisses, the water covering up the tears that flowed. Their bare bodies against each other and hearts beating at the same pace.

Jimin wrapped his arms around Jungkook's neck and cried against his kisses.
"I love you, Jimin. I love you so fucking much, baby. What do I do to make things right? I wish I could turn back time, Jimin." Jungkook breathed.

"You're the only person who holds the key to my heart. I know you can't believe me right now but I'm being truthful. You're the only one I can be with, you're the one I'm willing to give my everything. I'd do anything for a second chance. I've give anything, do any prayer, anything.. to... " Jungkook could barely manage to talk through his sobs.

"It scares me, Jungkook.." Jimin sobbed. And Jungkook looked at him sort of puzzled.
"It scares me how I am willing to give you a chance, to give you a clean slate." Jimin closed his eyes leaning in a pressing a soft kiss onto Jungkook's neck. 

"Everything that has happened, my heart still begs me to give you a chance. Would you have?" Jimin sobbed against Jungkook's lips.
Jungkook had no answer.

"Jimin...I "

"I know, Jungkook. I know." Jimin kissed him softly.

"But what scares me is, how much I love you, Jungkook.  " Jimin breathed.

"That's why I need to be alone. To know that it's not fear that's making me stay but love. I have let you take pieces of my soul and giving you a second chance.. might just be the last piece I can offer. And if you hurt me then...I will shatter, I'll be a ghost of a man. Soulless." Jimin spoke, his eyes still closed as if experiencing extreme pain.

".. I'll die, Jungkook..." Jimin continued, stroking Jungkook's face, knowing he was sobbing. Jungkook kissed Jimin passionately. The last line Jimin said was bringing into light Jungkook's worst fear.

He was scared too now.

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