Always Is Not Forever (Breaking Myself - Part II)

13. The One Where I Cut

Nothing, just he lost his arms and I didn't care about it. If it would be on me, he wouldn't be breathing even.

"Nothing that matters you. What you want?"

"Can you tell her to pick my phone?"

"No." Cleaning my face with the water, I dry it out with the towel. "Stay away from her."

"Kabir-"

"I'm serious. You have no idea how your one comment could've pushed her to the edge, or maybe she's I don't know." Turning off the speaker, I placed it against my ear. "You didn't trust her. Your mistake. You used her past. You're shitty. Stay away from her. I mean it."

Without bothering to hear any of his protests, I cut the call and threw the phone on the bed, not bothering where it landed.

How could he think I would let him near her anymore after hurting this much? She trusted him, confessed the darkest secret of her life to him and he shoved it back on her face because of his so-called love. Love didn't make you mean. It made you better.

Changing my clothes, I settled on the bed and snatched her novel pages from the side table. Grinning, I skipped it to the lines I couldn't forget, the lines that made me see how foolish I was for doubting her love for me, the lines that expose her love to me-something she was too shy to share with me.

Everyone said I was depended on him. Their words echoed in my ear as a chanting of a curse I should cut myself from. Somedays he made me wonder if I changed because of him, was I too weak to never stand up on my own? But then my heart slowly whispered to my brain don't be stupid. You meet people for a reason. They are meant to change you. If you can change yourself then why we meet them?

Yes, I was depended on him.

Yes, he made me feel better.

He was the tomorrow I looked for, he was the today I anticipated for, he was the past I hold on to.

My heart strived to barge into her room and ask for the explanation but held myself back. She would ignore it and lie like always, but I could feel it. Feel everything all at once. She loved me.

My gaze fell on the photo of Udisha.

Alina made it better. Everything. Each inch of my pain.

Sounds, rushing and ruthless sounds disturbed my eyes. Violent sounds of protests irritated me.

Opening my eyes, I roamed my gaze around the room, trying to find the source of the screams filling my ears. Kicking the blanket off my body, I ran out of the room and barged into hers to find her screaming and squirming in the bed. Her hands digging into her pillow, legs kicking on the bed, screams leaving her mouth, tears running down her eyes.

Screams.

Violent screams filling the whole room.

I'm hard to live with.

Everyone is scared of me.

My nightmares are nasty.

Sprinting to her side, I tried to wake her up.

"Bookworm. Bookworm." I chanted her name, but she kept on screaming

"Alina." I caught her hand, trying to shake her off from the nightmare clawing at her head. "It's me. Kabir. Get up."