- TYLER -
It was new.
It was different.
We've never had a kiss like that before.
It was like for the first time, Troye was unleashed when he kissed me. Free to kiss me to his heart's content. He kissed me passionately, with a desperation to his actions.
I melted into butter under the heat of his passion.
He pulled away from me, and pushed his nose into my cheek. He took my shaking body in his as he wrapped me up tightly in his arms.
"A-are you okay?" he stutters.
I pull my exhausted body away from his, surprised to see steady tears streaming down his face.
"Please, don't cry" I whisper, as I hurriedly wipe the tears off his face.
"Tilly...I thought...I thought you were going to faint. I thought I might lose you. I though--" he rambles.
I fall into his body, allowing his lean arms to embrace me.
"Don't worry. I'm still here. Just a panic attack" I mumble into his chest.
"Good" he stutters, again.
"Babe...I'm so sorry" I say, squeezing my face into his chest.
"Don't, Ty. Please, don't do this. Don't be sorry. It's not your fault. It's completely normal" he reassures me.
"No. Not that. I'm sorry for scaring you"
"Ty, if you ever get hurt or get panicked, I'm always going to be scared. You can't keep me from being scared. I'll always be scared. Because I care about you too much for me not to be scared when you don't feel good. The moment I stop being scared, leave me. Never talk to me again. Don't ever forgive me. Because the moment I stop being scared, is the moment I stop caring about you" he says, squeezing me tightly to his body.
I cry into his body. Half because of the extreme panic that had controlled my body just minutes ago. But, mostly, because of hearing how much Troye cared about me.
I felt his lips being repeatedly pressed into my forehead, easing me to comfort.
------
- TROYE -
After Tyler's panic attack, I tried my best to calm him down. However, it kind of ended with us comforting each other because I was blubbering my eyes out.
I grabbed his hand and helped him off the ground, he shakily stood up and squeezed my hand tighter.
There was a stray tear resting on Tyler's soft cheek. The last trace of his sadness and pain.
I leaned in and kissed the tear away. I always want to be able to do that. Kiss the last of his pain away.
I leaned my nose into his cheek, still recovering from seeing him broken and panicked.
He placed his hand on my jaw and swiftly guided my lips to his.
"Let's get out of here" Tyler whispers against my lips.
I nod and pull us out of the bathroom, thanking the owner of the shop on our way out of the store.
He hasn't let go of my hand, and I lead him to where we last saw Zoe.
Zoe and Alfie were sitting on a bench, with a large ice cream cone in Alfie's hand.
"Hey, guys" I mutter.
Their heads whip around, and quickly scan over Tyler to make sure he is okay. Their gazes halt at our interlocked hands, but thankfully they say nothing. At this point, Tyler starts holding my hand tighter, refusing to let go.
"Let's go home" Zoe offers.
We all nod our heads, eager to escape the day we've had.
Zoe and Alfie got up and started walking. Tyler started walking as well, but I quickly stopped him from walking so we could be behind Zalfie.
He looked at me and shot me a weak smile. Obviously, he was exhausted from his panic attack. I made a mental note to remember this when we got home.
We walked back to Zoe's in silence, me and Tyler walking in synchronized steps.
After a couple of minutes of walking, we strolled into Zoe's apartment and Tyler quickly dragged me to Zoe's bedroom.
Zoe shot me a smile as I was pulled into her room.
Tyler closed the door behind us, and plopped down on the bed.
I gently sat down next to him, and the moment my weight rested on the mattress, his body plummeted towards mine.
"Tilly? What's wrong?" I say, falling back onto the bed because of his force.
I felt a warmness on my chest and smiled, until I realized they were tears.
"Ty? Are you okay?" I say, getting nervous.
"I'm just...I'm just so fucking tired, Troye. I'm so tired of getting panic attacks and scaring fans, scaring you. People think I'm being a drama queen because I'm getting 'fame' and am having panic attacks. I just can't help it, you know?" he cries into my chest.
"I know" I sigh.
Understanding that he doesn't need reassurance, he doesn't need me to tell him it's okay, he just needs someone to listen. So, I listen.
I hold him tight, allowing him to use my body as a tissue as he cries into me. I wanted nothing more than to stop him. To stop his hurt. To stop his crying. But, I couldn't. Panic is something that a lot of people deal with. And I can't be his therapist, but I can be his support system. And I sure as hell was going to be the best support system he's ever had.
"I know" I repeat, kissing the top of his head.
I feel his body relaxing on top of mine as he slowly falls asleep, snuggled into my side.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N:
Hey guys, super busy. Sorry for slow updates :/
I don't really like this chapter, so sorry if it sucks. It's kind of a filler for what happened after Tyler's panic attack. So yeah, sorry again.
But, better stuff will be coming out soon!!
Ok, wish me luck with exams next week :(
See you guys (hopefully tomorrow)
bye my lovely marshmallow peeps <3
xxx
