BTS 8th member || Imagines and scenarios | Book 1

Jonghyun ~ Imagine/Request

Author note:
This is a scenario that should of come out in December but I hesitated because I didn't think it was good enough for him. I spoke about my issue earlier on in the year and the messages I got were so lovely and overwhelming, thank you. I had people reach out to me for help and I  listened to them the best I could. However I understand that people are still afraid to speak about their own feelings or are scared for others who are close to them. Depression is a serious matter and I advice people to seek help if they or someone they know ever feels down, Lonely or in anyway want to hurt themselves.

Lucy 💜

———

You heard a light knock on your door "Lani can I come in?" You stayed in your position which was hugging your tear stained pillow and burying your face into it. You heard the door open and close. When you felt Yoongis presence you lifted your weak body up and he pulled you into a hug. "We need to go to see him. We will be with you the whole time" Yoongi rubbed your back in gentle motions. "How's Tae?" You lifted your head off of his suit and looked up at his pale face and dark circles. "His not doing great either" he wiped your tears with his thumb and planted a kiss on your forehead. "Let's go" you stood up and walked out with Yoongi following behind you to where the boys were waiting. They were silent, the house was silent.
Your managers walked in and took you all to the van. Just like the house, the drive was silent, you would just stare out of the window watching the clouds.

Upon arriving Tae got out first followed by everyone else with you getting out last. Yoongi waited for you by the door and took your hand in his for comfort. Keeping your heads down you tried to stay strong but tears would slip down your cheeks. You walked up the stairs to go see him, one of your closest friends, gone from the world but not from your heart.

Walking out you had continued to cry and talked to his sister. You two grew close because of him. Your managers called you to leave and you quickly walked over to them. Your manager stayed close to you as well as the boys whilst photographers tried to get a shot of the sad faces that idols wore.
For the next few days you remained in the same state which was laying in your bed with boys coming in to give you food or check on you. Yoongi would come in to sleep next to you as it helped you get at least a few hours sleep.

———

Waking up at 2 am after about 40 minuets sleep you got out of the covers and headed out to your balcony making sure to quickly close the door so Yoongi wouldn't get a cold. Taking a seat on the garden sofa you looked up at the stars.
Before you knew it a tear had slipped down your cheek, then another and another. You felt guilty that you didn't spot the signs sooner, you had someone to help you through your depression but he didn't, you didn't help him, you let him suffer alone. Frustrated you ran a hand through your tangled hair that you had deserted for 2 days.
The weight of a blanket hit your shoulders and Yoongi shuffled next to you , placing the blanket around him as well and curling up next to you. "You will get a cold" He spoke through chattering lips. "I deserve it... I didn't help him. I was meant to be a friend he could lean on, cry to, reach out to and he didn't. Does that make me a bad friend if he couldn't do that?"
Yoongi sat up straight but still faced the view of Seoul. "People suffer differently, some reach out whilst others are willing to suffer quietly. It is sad that society makes us feel as if we have to live up to an expectation wether that be mental standards or physical standards.... When you was at your worst state how did you feel?"
"Lonely, worthless.... a failure"
"But we were all still around you. So you weren't lonely at all, you just felt it and I think that is what he went through. Believe me you were a good friend to him and I saw how you and others made him genuinely smile. But negatives out way positives and sometimes it is to much."
Your eyes now like waterfalls with the moonlight hitting them you looked up one last time.
"You did good Jonghyun" you mumbled.