Second Chances

chapter thirty five break down

             

Tyler was helping himself to some of the delicious items that Janice had packed in his lunch kit when Jason and Jessica came and sat on either side of him. "Hey T.J can we talk?' Jason asks. "There's something bothering us and we really need to get it off our chest." Jessica adds. "Why do I feel a lecture coming on?" Tyler asks frowning at his friends. "It's not a lecture, just a concern." Jason reassures him.

"Alright, lets hear it then." Tyler said leaning back in his chair. Jason took a deep breath before he began. "Alright listen man; we've known you for a long time now and you're more like our brother than our friend and again we just want you to be happy but we really don't think that you're going to find that happiness with Kayla." Jason sighs as he noticed the change in Tyler's features.

"T.J what we need to know is why you forgive her so quickly? I mean we know you love her that goes without saying but after what she did, don't you think that you need more time to sort through your feelings?" Jessica asks.

"T.J the girl has been cheating on you in your own house with God knows how many men. Have you ever stop and think of just how close you came to catching H.I.V." Jason asks in concern.

"T.J why the hell would you wants to spend your life with this woman? And don't tell me it's because you love her because there's nothing lovable about that woman." Jessica finishes angrily.

Three different expressions cross Tyler's face before he sighs tiredly and leaned forward. "I know you guys are concerned about me but this is something that I've to work out for myself. As I said before maybe this will work and maybe it won't but I've to try, for my baby's sake."

"That's a load of bull and you know it T.J. you know; I'm beginning to think Martin is right; she does have something on you; doesn't she? And your guilt is what is keeping you with her." Jessica said harshly.

"So what is it T.J what did you do to her? What does she have on you?" Jason demands. "Nothing; she doesn't have anything on me." Tyler answered annoyed. "Really? Look both of us in the eye and tell us that you didn't hurt her in any way and you have nothing to be guilty about." Jessica said sternly.

Tyler looked his friends square in the eyes and spoke firmly. "I did not do anything to hurt or harm Kayla in any way shape or form." He said trying to fight the tears that where burning his eyes.

"The only thing I'm guilty of is leaving my fiancée here and going to Japan. That trip was planned for the both of us and I never should have gone without her. I never should have left her here. I never...." He stopped as the tears he was fighting so hard to hold back came running down his cheeks. "I never should have let her convinced me to go without her and I'll regret that for the rest....of my life." Tyler folds his hands on the table, rests his head on it and sobs and began speaking in a shaky heart rending tone.

"Kayla is no saint. She had lied to me, repeatedly. She has cheated on me, repeatedly and she has ripped my trust and my love for her to shreds but the child she's carrying could very well be mine and I need to be there for my child. I need to be the kind of father that my father is to my child." He said as his entire body shakes with his sobs.

"Every time she comes near me I wonder if she's coming from a man's bed. I can't kiss her or touch her sexually because every time I try the image of what I saw in our bedroom flood my mind, but I refuse to let my child suffer because of her actions and God help me but I still love... her and I still believe she can.... change." He cried.

He lift his head from the table and took a deep shaky breath but found it difficult to release it and to their shock he began gasping for air. Jessica immediately ran to his side grabs his oxygen mask and place it over his face and he sucks the air greedily. A few minutes later his breathing returns to normal and he removed the mask himself.