I'll Wear Orange - (finished)

I'll Wear Orange - Blood, booze, and more bad news

I left school early; Cole picked me up and took me to Owen's house. What can I say; I am nothing if not determined. I spent an hour sitting outside his room on the floor, knocking and talking to it. Since he wouldn't open it, and something was in the way. Chris ran up the stairs and told me there was a "family meeting" so I went with him. He wasn't kidding.

Collin sat at the head of their dining room table, with Dom next to him then Cole was in the living room, not family you see. I slipped into the seat next to Chris and Connor - Owens cousin. Honestly, I do not know what it is about that family and names that begin with 'C'. Connors mum - Collins sister - was sitting red eyed opposite Collin. Her name is . . . Carol.

'So, you all know how Molly died,' Collin said. He didn't looked happy, not that he would, but you know what I mean. If you don't, tough.

'You think we'd forget,' Dom leant back in his chair and folded his arms. Collin shot him a look which he shrugged off.

'Well, it looks like Owen . . .' Collin didn't seem able to finish his sentence. He took a breath the blew it out as he rubbed his face with his hands. 'Owen . . . it looks like . . . well the doctors think . . . we think.' He stumbled along.

'The doctors think that Owen has Luke too.' Carol sobbed. I knew it was coming, someone was going to say it, but well, it's always different when someone actually does. We sat around the table and talked about Molly, and her treatment, the type of Luke that she had. Then the conversation went on to Owen, and what it would be like for him. I got up to leave but Collin saw the ever growing purple / blue splodge across my arm.

'What happened?' he said in his serious "father" tone.

'Blood test,' I said and shrugged, 'my blood didn't want to leave me, it love me so' I smiled weakly. Dom, Chris and Connor all lean forwards so their arms lay flat on the table.

'What you getting tested for?' Dom jerked his head at me, kinda like a weird nod. I rolled my eyes and sat back down.

'First it was just glandular fever,' I said, 'but when my results came back she said there were things that she wanted to test again. My iron was low, so was my calcium. And my white blood cell count was-' I put my hand over my mouth; they didn't need to worry about me too. I stood up and pushed my chair back. 'Sorry, I have to go, I have to see Ace, sort him out' I smiled and walked towards the door.

'It was high, wasn't it?' I heard Collin mumbled. I turned round; he had his head in his hands while the boys just started at me.

I bit my lip and nodded. 'Yeah, it was high.'

'They're testing you for Luke, aren't they?' he sighed. The light caught a tear than ran through his fingers.

'I didn't want to say anything, until I get my results. You have Owen to worry about. You don't need to worry about me too,' I said. Dom laughed.

'Idiot,' he said, 'we all worry about you whether you have Luke or not. Owen's being a dickhead, but your still my munckin, alright?'

'And mine,' Chris said. He got up and gave me a hug, 'if you have it to,' he mumbled into my ear. 'I have some serious ass to kick.'

* * *

I went to the yard, like I said I would. Tacked Ace up, and went to the woods. He needed a good run to let off steam, and I need an adrenalin rush. My answer to both: The Empty Miles. I jumped him in the woods on the way there, to warm him up.

The Empty Miles are exactly that. They used to be 6 big fields, now the fences were all gone, so it was just empty grass. We came out of the woods, and out of the shade. The sun glared at us, it was too hot. I stopped Ace and let him nibbled some grass while I took my phone out of my boot. No new messages. It went back in the boot. I took my IPod out of my bra . . . what? It's a good place to put it! It doesn't fall out when you jump! I put the earphones in, pressed shuffle, before I tangled my fingers in Ace's mane and the reins. Super massive black hole by Muse came on.

I clicked my tongue and Ace needed no more encouragement. He bolted forwards across the fields. I leant forwards over his neck, lifting my mum out of the saddle and he sped up. We were at full gallop breaching the first little slope when I noticed it. /that's new/ I thought. A 6 bar fence had been put right through the middle of the field. I didn't have enough time to stop Ace, so instead, I collected him up, slowed him a little and we went for him.

He cleared the fence, like I knew he would. He landed and carried on his gallop while I had the biggest grin on my face. There is no relationship like a girl and her horse. To put trust in an animal that could kill you in a second. A half a ton animal with a mind of its own, yet you trust it to listen to you, and it does.

It's scary, going for the jump, you stomach's in your mouth, as you ready yourself. When his front feet leave the ground, and you lean forward, his curves his back and . . . jumps. There is nothing - in my opinion - that compares to being airborne on your horse. It's like flying. It's like flying on the wings of a friend. Then when you land and make the turn, your stomach flips. Clearing the jump and you go again.

* * *

I finished at the yard, bathed Ace and went home. I sat in the garden talking to Lisha about Eastenders for ages. Jay said he wants to talk to me. I'm not sure about what yet, I guess I'll just have to wait and see. Shouldn't be too long till he decides to talk to me. Oh well, I have my booze 'a watin for me. It's been a while since I was drunk, or hand anything for that matter. Today seems like a good day for a little bit.

Peace out plastic penguins! And good night diary.

Love from, Ashleigh and the cat!