Saved - 5sos Fanfiction

Part 9 - Leaving

It's something with them. With the boys I mean. They make me want to believe, but the more I trust them, the more I hesitate because I know that the more I trust them, the more pain I will feel when they let me down. This is where things get hard. See, I want to trust them, I want to be their friend, I want them to care, I want to tell them everything! But the question is: Can I?

I think that you can simply say that I'm scared.

I'm scared of getting hurt, I'm scared of breaking down, I'm scared to make a fool of myself, I'm scared they'll laugh at me for believing that they care. All these thoughts are driving me crazy, but I can't stop them from showing. I just want to be normal, I want to be able to trust, I want to be able to take risks, but the fact is that it's me! I am the problem because I'm scared! It's not them, they're perfect and caring, but my brain tells me that they're also lying. 

"Ali! Dinner's ready!" Claire shouts from downstairs and I quickly shut the music - I Can Barely Say by The Fray - and run downstairs. 

I sit down by the table and Claire sits down in front of me. Lately, Claire has been working more and I can see the difference in her mood. She goes to bed early - if she doesn't work late - and is always tired. I feel kinda spoiled to be honest, here I am, doing nothing at all while she's working her ass of. 

About the school thing, Claire surprisingly told me a few days ago that I don't have to finish my last year in school. Or, I do, but with homeschooling. Since the school year is almost over already. And after she told me that, I told her that I could get a job, but she told me not to worry about it. I've actually been to the café that we went to, Stacey's Corner, and asked if it was possible to get a part time job and they say yes! Nothing's official yet though, but they said that they would save a spot for me if I was interested - I think it's because they're good friends with Claire and I'm Claire's niece. 

"So are we doing anything tonight? Or tomorrow? I mean, it's a Friday night" I ask Claire as we begin to eat. 

"Oh I'm sorry honey, I actually have to work tomorrow" she says with a tired, worn voice. 

"I'm worried that you're working too much, Claire" I tell her honestly and she just looks up at me with a smile, which I don't know if I should trust or not.

"I'm fine, Alison, honestly"

When we're both done eating, we just sit there for another ten minutes. She asks me what I think about Australia so far - I've already been here around two weeks! - and if I've been with the boys lately. And actually, I have been spending some time with them, but they're busy very often, with band practice and stuff. 

Two knocks are heard on the front door and I immediately stand up, so that Claire won't have to, she deserves all the rest she can get. I walk to the door and open it to see the four boys that has stolen my heart in two weeks. 

"Hi" I smile, as I always to, but they doesn't smile back, which makes my smile disappear. "What's wrong?"

"Alison, we're sorry and we know that-" Ashton begins, trying to explain but Calum interrupts.

"We're leaving" Calum blurts out and I stare at them in shock.

"Oh, okay... Where to?" I ask, trying to hide the fact that it hurts knowing they're leaving.

"We're going on a small tour in Australia, we'll be gone for two weeks" Michael says, looking quite guilty.

Something with that sentence breakes my heart, but I can't let it show. "That sounds fun!" I say, trying to sound with enthusiasm, but I'm sure it sounded just as fake as I thought.