Six Inch Heels( Savage MC Book Two)

chapter eighteen- sometimes it hurts instead

At the same time in a small apartment in Edinburgh
Aine
"Once upon a time, there was an amazing woman, a master of the sea. In our history she is known as the Pirate Queen. Her Family, the O'Malley clan, ruled the southern shores of Ireland. They were known to be ruthless pirates. It is said that at a young age Gráinne wanted to travel with her father in his ships to Spain but both her mother and father refused, saying she was a girl not a sailor. She rebelled against them, shaving her head to disguise herself as a boy and boarded her father's ship, Grace." staring out the window of my apartment I thought back to when I'd first heard the story. How amazed and awed I'd been sitting in a classroom listening to the teachers animated story of the pirate Queen of Ireland.
"That's when she got her other most famous nickname, 'Gráinne Mhaol'. See 'mhaol' means bald in Irish, Grace. Her strength of character to follow her own judgement always made me love her. When her Dad died she was said to have inherited his ships and trading business and that was when she rose to be the Queen of Umaill, chieftain of the Ó Máille clan." Shaking my head in amusement at the next part of my story I rocked my arms back and forth.
"England had invaded Ireland at the time and had some rule in the country. There is a legendary story of when the new Governor of Connacht persecuted Gráinne and her followers, she made the long trip to the Thames and demanded the audience of the Queen, Elizebeth 1. When they met at Greenwich Palace it is said Gráinne Mhaol refused to bow to the Queen as she stated she too was a Queen and was not a subject of the Queen of England." I grinned, proud of the story.
"And, baby, I like to think in a way, us having the surname 'O' Malley' means that we're descendents of that mighty family. She's also the reason I've named you Grace. See Gráinne was also known as Grace O Malley and, sweetie, you deserve to have a strong name and when you get older, I hope you remember that story and have the same strength to be who you want to be as Gráinne Mhaol did." Looking at her sleeping little face, I smiled down at my two year old daughter. She was beautiful, a tuff of curly brown hair rose in ringlets from her head and she burrowed down into the blankets I had her wrapped in. It hasn't been an easy two years raising a baby by myself, trying to balance making money and spending time with her. When I had left Australia I chose to take back my own name again, Aine O Malley, no longer afraid or wanting to hide.
It was a few months later that I found out I was pregnant. At first I was terrified. I felt like someone was making a mockery out of my life but eventually, with the help of Tony, I adjusted to it. When Grace was born I heard from Benny. I thought I had known fear before in my life but I was wrong. I understood what true fear was when I first answered the phone to Bennys voice telling me congratulations on the birth. I'd panicked, yelling threats down the phone at him to stay away from her. It had taken him five minutes to calm me eniugh to explain to me why he was calling before I felt the fear ease and relief take it's place. He was giving up on his revenge against Switch. It was taking us a long time but slowly we  were getting our friendship back.
My phone lighting up on the counter beside the rocking chair drew my attention. Rising gracefully to my feet I lay Grace down in her cot before answering the phone. Speak of the devil, Bennys name lit up the screen.
"Hello" I whispered down the phone not wanting to wake Grace.
"My lovely, how are you?" He asked. I walked over to the window of my small apartment and looked out at the city lights in the night.
"I'm doing good, how are you?" I assumed him. The sky was clear tonight, a chill setting in outside the left a thin layer of condensation on the window. I could see the stars dotting the sky.
"I'm getting there too, no need to worry. How is little Grace? I got your pictures of her. She is truly something beautiful. She takes after you, Aine." he spoke softly. I smiled looking over my shoulder at the tiny bundle in the cot.
"She is my light. She's great, you should hear her little laugh. She's started doing that now, laughing all the time and talking. Every week, twice a week we go swimming. She loves the water, every time she splashes it she giggles." I laugh at the memories of her in the pool. "I'm so in love with her." I add.
"I hesitate to ask you and you can tell me to mind my business," Benny started. This was something He had started to do ever since we had began to rebuild our relationship. He always said I could tell him to mind his business if I wanted him to whereas before Benny would never assume he couldn't know something about me. It showed even now how fragile our friendship was. "Who is the father? Why isn't he present?" He said gently. I took a deep breath. This was a conversation myself and Tony had argued over many times but I had made my mind up and was sticking to it.
"He was a man from Australia. His name is Brian. We were together for a few months before I moved again." I said lightly so as not to hurt him. Talking about my living in different countries was often a strain for us.
"Does he know?." He asked so lightly I barely heard it.
"No." I answered feeling my chin lift slightly.
"Why love? I don't like you doing this on your own." He said.
"I'm Aine." I answered and felt him frown.
"What?" He voiced his confusion.
"I'm not Christina. I'm  not an only child who's parents died and I have no family living. I'm not that story. I can't go back to that, I won't raise my daughter in a lie." I said and felt his confusion still.
"Could you not explain? If he cared would he not understand?" He asked for my sake I knew. I took a deep breath and shared further.
"I thought that once too,  a few months after Grace was born and I had my head on better. So Tony found him again. He's married Benny, only by a few months back then but his wife was about four months pregnant. He is happy and I'm not going to interrupt that with my lies and explanations. I know it isn't fair in a way but what he doesn't know won't ever hurt him and me and Grace don't need anyone else. She's got me and she's got Tony and she's even got you Benny. We're happy where we are, us against the world. For some reason we anchor each other, dynamic duo and all that." I laughed softly.
"Will you ever come back here?" He asked almost desperate now but I rebelled instantly against it.
" I can't live there." I shook my head.
"What about visiting? Come for Chrsitmas one year. If you say I'm there for you and little Grace, let me be. Dont let me be someone she's never met but only heard about." he said.
"It goes both ways. You can come here too. Tony does." I said back smiling out the window, feeling like part of my family was finally connecting itself back together.
"If I go next Christmas, you have to come here for the Christmas after." he tried for a compromise. I laughed.
"Deal"I relented.
"Good. I'm glad my lovely. Now, I'll leave you to your sleep and get back to mine too." He said a smile in his voice.
"Benny?"I called.
"Yes?" He asked.
"Are you sure you're doing okay?" I asked lightly. He paused.
"I'm getting there. She'd be happy for you, she'd be visiting every holiday to see you." he said and while his voice was steady I could feel the emotion through the phone.
"She is proud of you too, Benny" I  said back. I heard his deep sigh.
"I hope so" I whispered.
"I know so" I whispered back before we both hung up the phone. Leaving it on the windowsill I walked toward the cot and peered in.
"You're so loved, my light. I hope you never know the pain this world can give people. God forbid but if it ever touches you, have the strength to push it away." Leaning forward I kissed her forehead before climbing into my bed beside her cot.
The stars sprinkled light across the room as I fell into a dreamless sleep.