Audition [Daragon]

Target 9: Just A Misunderstanding

Author: Dedicated to Fearlesswhitelies

Dara's P.O.V


"Yeoboseyo, everyone!" Bom greets all of the staff, showing her beautiful smile with Top at her side, his arm wrapped around her waist while I just silently follow them behind. 


Today's the shooting of Jiyong's  MV with me as his leading lady. I haven't known my script...yet because today's the first day of the shooting so I'm kind of naïve with the MV-haven't known the title of the song either. Also, Bom told me that there is another guy showing in the MV, and she said, he's portraying the best friend role or something under that category. Bom kind of knows the whole script of the MV before I do because she forced the director to tell her or  she'll blackmail him, more like kill him. You know Bom, she's a little, you know, overprotective to me since my break-up. Though it kind of got me a little scared when most of the staff started to glare at me as soon as I step in the shooting area. Maybe Bom warned them, or glare at them first. But, most of all, what made me a little curious and thinking this day is what Bom and Top did to me just a few hours ago, or two hours ago. 

Flashback


All I do is lay around, two years full of tears
From looking at your face on the wall
Just a week ago you were my baby
Now I don't even know you at all, I don't know you at all

Well, I wish that you would call me right now
So that I could get through to you somehow
But I guess it's safe to say, baby, safe to say
That I-I'm officially missing you

(Tamia-Officially Missing You)


"Ssantokki, why're you covering your ears?" Top asks, looking at me with amusement, and I stuck a tongue out, playfully. He laughs, patting my head and I slap his hand off, taking off my hands on my ears. The song played a while ago by my best friend, Bom, was now stopped, and I assume Bom is choosing another break up song. Seriously, what's happening to them today?


"Can I have a quiet breakfast?" I exclaim, and shove in the kimbap in my mouth, making my cheeks round. Top laughs, and give me a glass of water, which I gulp down, all of it. I shove again another kimbap in my mouth, and continue, practically shoving all the food in my mouth.


Alone in my room
I could not sleep
In my mind it keeps coming back
The pain that I felt


Why was it that I loved you?
Like a bubble you disappeared
Why was it that I chose you? 
Now, my heart suffers

What I ask for is too simple
That you feel how I felt

(Porque- Maldita English Lyrics)

"BOOOOOOOOOOOM!" I shout, my mouth still full of kimbap. With this, Top laughs, while swallowing the food inside his mouth. Bom looks at us with a smug face, and gives a peace sign with her fingers. I roll my eyes and continue in eating, glaring at the food in front of me. 


"Why sullen all of a sudden?" Top asks, chuckling, and steals the kimbap on my plate, making me glare at him. I put down my chopsticks, swallowing the food in my mouth that was seriously hurting my jaw, because my mouth can't handle too much and gulp down a glass of water. 


"Who wouldn't if your best friend keeps on playing break up songs." I say, crossing my arms on the table and look at Bom, who was busy searching songs in her iPod. It's inevitable that she's planning on playing another breakup song, so, I beat her to it. 


"What are you trying to imply?"


Bom abruptly looks at me, her eyes showing her nervousness and she stands up, walking towards us. When she was already in front of me, she grabbed my wrist, her eyes showing deep calmness and I look up to her, curiously.


"We need to talk." She says. "Now." her voice was thick, and then she pulls me, to the living room. The lights turned off, except for the light bulb directly at me, so, it was like I was in one of the investigation movies I watch. Bom walks across the table, going to the right and back to the left side again, then she slams her hands against the table, making me jump. Top appears at the right, smokes, and looks at me directly. Where did he get that cigarette? What on earth, it's too early in the morning and he's smoking?! What a crazy dude we have here. 


"We just want to ask you a few questions." Bom says, and Top slides a chair behind her, then she sits on it, like a boss. She crosses her legs, and looks at me, distantly. When did my best friend become this awesome? Can anyone tell me?


"Sure. No prob' or there is?" I answer, leaning on the backrest, raising a brow, but still sit tall, feigning a nervous criminal under investigation. Somehow, I have a bad feeling with these two persons in front of me, one meticulously looking at me, and one smoking at an ungodly hour. They're like investigators of your arch nemesis with the way they act rather than best friends, asking you questions. I remember Top being like this in one of their albums, or not? I rather not think of it anymore, 'cause it has no connection what's happenin' this moment. 


"What's your name?" Top asks, making Bom and I look at him, and a pillow was sharply thrown straight to his face, making Top fall out of the chair.


"That wasn't a part of the questions I gave you!" Bom shouts, completely standing up from her seat, her face in deep shade of red, looking at Top angrily. Top massages his butt, and also his head, smiling widely at Bom like he did nothing that made her angry. He still could smile with Bom's anger. How inane can this guy can get? How I wish to be like Top sometimes. Brave and bold like Batman. 


"Chill, babe. It was too serious that I want to make you guys laugh. Don't make Ssantokki nervous or else, she'll lie to you." Top sort of reminds Bom, standing up from the floor, and goes back to his seat, grinning at me. I raise a brow, and spare a glance at Bom, who was cupping her chin while looking at the ceiling, thinking deeply.


"So, Ssantokki, please do promise you'll only state the truth, and the one that your heart says so." Top pleads or more like asking, still grinning at me, but now it was, idiotically. I raise my right hand as if I'm really promising to him, even though I find it ridiculous enough. 


"I promise to state only the truth, and what my heart says so. Sheesh, I feel like I'm in a justice court or something." I say, putting down my hand and lift my legs on the couch, crossing it.


"Sandara Park hehehe," Top says, imitating one of the boys who courts me, Wooyoung-but he's not here so why bring up the topic. "What is Youngbae really with your life?"


"Youngbae? He's my best friend second to Bom, and also was my boyfriend." I say, in a matter-of-fact tone. Top nods, and points at Bom like it was her cue or something. 


"Did you think you really loved Youngbae?" Bom asks, lunging forward. I cup my chin, wiggling my lips, then furrow my eyebrows. 


"Yeah.." I mumble. "I did."


"Mind if I ask, is it in a romantic way or just plain friendship like the love you feel towards Bom?" Top asks, having hand gestures, and I think again, deeply. 


"I'm not...that...super...sure." I mumble, massaging my chin while looking at the the ceiling. 


"Tell me some details when you guys date. What do you feel?" Bom asks, eagerly and I look at her, raising a brow. Why're they so persistent? Or more like digging the past? What just happened that I didn't know?


"Hmm, well, when we have our first date at the amusement park, I admit, I feel giddy, but it feels like it has been just normal, you know, like the Han River scheme you did for Jiyong and me. As well as to the second one, it has been just like a friendly date or something." I say, laying my body down to the couch because I was getting bored, and I have tried many sitting positions already. Bom heaves a sigh, standing up from her seat, and stretches her body up. 


"Case closed." Top quelled the investigation and smiles at me, like it was just the only thing in the world he can do. I look at Bom, who was back to searching songs again in her iPod. 


"Aigoo, Ssantokki, you really made me believe you're in love. I can't believe how inane can you get." Bom says. Top nods, pointing at me, hovering me because I was lying on the couch. "Yes, how much is it with Youngbae? Geez, if only Appa didn't tell it to us, I would have believed he's feeling that way. Who wouldn't know they're the same?"


"Who's the same?" I ask, and Top shrugs, walking back to the kitchen. Bom rolls her eyes, looking behind, directly at me.


"You know why you feel sad and lonely after the break-up?" Bom asks, facing her body to me, and I shake my head, moving my shoulders up. Then she turns to Top, before to me. 


"You didn't rely on us." Bom says, pointing her finger at me. "How hard it is to tell us the reason of your break-up?"


"Bom, please......stop." Top pleads, walking towards Bom, but she acted like she didn't hear anything from her boyfriend, much lesser Top. 


"Sandara Park, let me ask you a silly question. Are we really friends?"


End of Flashback


I was broke through my thoughts when a familiar voice rings in my ears. "Still thinking of what happened yesterday?"


I turn around, my hair brushing his face in the process because his body is bent. "Teddy Appa." I mumble, seeing Appa in front of me, grinning ear-to-ear, and dishevels my hair. I close my eyes, and when I feel his hand wasn't on top of my head anymore, my eyes flutter open again. 


"You know, just an opinion, there's still time to heal the scar, and correct things from the past. You might not know that sooner or later, you'll realize that the person that you know is a part of your life, is now gone." He says, patting my head while smiling at me, competitively. I nod, provoking myself to listen or talk to him any further, but I can't. I miss him until now. We haven't talked any longer yesterday because of Youngbae and Jiyong, and this opportunity is the best for me. And when the opportunity is in your hands, seize it. 


"What are you doing here? Are you the producer?" I ask, placing both of my palms on his cheeks and then retrieve my hands after I have felt his warmth again, giving me a good feeling. He looks around, straightening his demeanor and then turn to me. 


"Just moral support and...I have to talk to someone now to discuss something." He says then pauses, looking at his wristwatch. "Good luck and...take care."


He waves his hand at me, smiling while he walks away to the far left and I also wave my hand to him, staring at his retreating back, and then back to my senses when Bom shouts. 


"Ssantokki! Come here! Ppali!" She shouts, her hands gesturing me to come over her where Top and a girl, about in her mid 30's stood. I sigh and walk towards her, my hands carefully hidden in my back. As soon as I was in Bom's reach, she got my arm and pull me to her side, pointing at a bounty of dresses hanging on the rack. 


"Huh? What's with the dresses?" I ask, raising my brow with my hands still at my back and Bom's grasp was still on it. She chuckles, covering her mouth and drags me near to the rack, looking at the dresses. 


"You're getting your get-up clothes for the MV silly. They said you should be cute and carefree." She says, tapping her chin and then she looks in a dress, humming a tune. Geez, cute and silly? Look at that dress in front of me! Some with glitters that when you beamed light on it, your eyes will get blind. Some are too flimsy. While some are too fit, don't ever think of breathing while wearing it. 


"Then you'll choose for me?" I ask, wrapping my left arm around her waist. She did the same, wrapping her right arm around my waist and lean her head on my left shoulder, pouting. 


"Yes, I want to, but I don't like any of the dresses. They're not fitted to the motif...or to you." She says, running her hand against the dresses and then tilt her head up, her hand moving to my chin as she playfully taps it. I stuck my tongue out that made her laugh, taking her head off my shoulder. 


"Ssantokki, they said you'll be the last member of my group. Are you okay with it?" She asks, grabbing both of my shoulders and turn my body to her. I answer with a shrug, my lips turning lopsided and then force a smile. 


"I don't know. Jiyong told me that the president will discuss it with me next week." I say, heaving a sigh and then beam, forcely chuckling. "I'm getting busier than ever."


"Yeah, but I'll be glad you're performing with me. Isn't that great! You and me, crossing the world of entertainment as we make our own name, and strive as we reach our goals of fame. We'll meet a couple of famous celebrities in the world, and beat them-


"Excuse me, ahjussi. Can you sit on the chair for a while? We're getting fewer complications with the shooting, but it'll be fixed." The assistant says, completely ruining our scene, and Bom's novel-like speech. Bom pouts then smile at me, dragging me to a group of chairs, lined up facing the shooting area. Top's sitting on one, and Bom takes a seat beside him, while I was beside Bom, looking at Top with a hawk's eye. 


Then, almost in a nanosecond, I feel my blood rush in my veins, making me feel hotter than I was in a fever and the world stopped spinning around. Everyone is moving in a slow motion around me, laughing and busying themselves with papers. My sweats began to thick on my forehead, and I quickly wipe it away using my arm, fearing Bom will see it. Then slowly, my breath turns into a rapid intake, making me gasp for air. My hands clutch on to my chest, massaging it gently as I feel my heart sheerly beating against chest, pounding madly. My stomach turns lopsided, making me put my grasp onto it, groaning in pain. 


"Ggrgh." I groan, bending my body forward as I withold my stomach to my legs and feel Bom's palm on my back, patting it lightly. My head feels dizzy, making all the images that my eyes capture blurry and at the same time, two. Heck, even the staff in front of me had become two. 


"Ssantokki? Are you okay?" Bom asks, still rubbing my back, gently. I feel the urge to vomit, but then I had to resist, not because I don't want to vomit all over the area, but because I know how I had felt this. Whenever I feel sick, there might be two things wrong. One, I'm really sick or two, one of the persons important to me are sick. I just realize it when my little brother got sick, and I was the one feeling worse than him. 


But then, I know one of my family members are not sick, because if they are, Omma should be calling now and will tell me to get there immediately. I clasp on to my stomach, groaning once again, but manage to talk, "Top, can you lend me your key to your apartment?"


Bom's hand against my back slaps me, making me choke, and saliva drips out of my mouth. I quickly wipe it away using my arm, groaning again when my stomach wince and Bom apologizes immediately, rubbing my back rapidly. 


A rustle of keys was heard and I look up, seeing Top hovering me. He worriedly looks at me and takes one arm from my stomach, opening my palm and places the key on it. I force a smile out, stand up while groaning again and walk like a crippled person towards the door. I feel very bad, and wipe a sheen of sweat forming on my forehead as the surroundings around me turn blurry. I groan once again, leaning on the wall and I heard the director called me out, but then it just kept on ringing in my ears, not a single word came clear. 


"Bzzzzzzzzzzzz."was all I heard when the director called me, his mouth forming my name, my full name actually. I roll my body to the wall, which I used as my support and run outside, still clasping on my stomach. The pain subsides a bit, but it didn't help at all. 


"Dara, run!" I shout at myself inwardly, and force my legs to run or to sprint so I can move faster. Luckily, my legs obeyed and my crippled walk transforms into a run, making me a less worried. When I got out the area, I saw puddles around me, and I blink twice, thinking it was just a hallucination, but it wasn't.


Luckily, Big Bang's apartment is near the area, giving me a huge hint of hope that this pain will subside faster. I hold my stomach with one hand, the other holding the apartment keys and ready myself to run.


One. Two. Three.I run, after I had mentally counted to three. The rain that was pouring down from the clouds above made my clothes a little too soggy that somehow affected my weight and my pace. But it didn't have any effect on my hope to make my pain subside a bit. Why does it have to be in a time like this? Why does it have to be this day? But I won't. I won't stop running. He's still important to me and still one of the persons that changed my life. Even if I'm still not ready, I won't stop. That thing could wait, but his sickness won't. Not ever, not will. 


I slowly turn my run into a walk when I saw the building near, and I felt that the pain subsided a bit. The rain suddenly got heavier so I make fast a dash inside the building. A few staff recognizes me, a few greet me and a few, spares a glance at me. I walk towards the elevator, wait for it to open then go inside, tapping their floor number in a sheer move. No one was with me inside, but I groan again when I feel my insides twists. The door opens up again and I step out, using the wall as my support. I feel like a crippled person with what is happening to me or more like weird because I'm feeling sick even though I'm not the one who's sick. 


I tremble as I insert the key to the knob, dodging the hole for multiple times, but managed to insert it. Twisting the knob, I storm inside, getting the key and closing the door behind me.


There was hardly anyone in the apartment, just me and I assume...him. He should be here if he's sick and I assume, he's the one the assistant is pertaining to 'complications'. There were hardly any pain. All there is left was some stinging, and my insides that were twisting. 


I shake my head, and walk to his room, finding the door locked. Then, I knock, assuming he'll answer, but no luck, he didn't unlock the door. My hands turn into a fist, my sweats dripping from my forehead and I rub my jaw, staring at the door. 


I try to open the door again, and to my surprise it's unlocked. Maybe my nerves were too numb when I tried earlier so I didn't feel it click at all. The pain I felt earlier might be taking its effects on me. Aside from my nerves getting numb, I could feel a hard thumping against my head, feeling a huge migraine. 


I push the door inside, stepping in and saw him, lying on the cold floor, sleeping blissfully. Leaving the door open behind me, I walk towards him and kneel near him, checking his chest as it moves up and down. I pinch my palm, taking any impulses and when I feel the sting, I place my palm on his forehead, taking his temperature. My other hand made its way to my forehead, taking any differences in our temperature and sure was his temperature is much hotter than mine. He really has a fever. 


I take a peek at his clothes, finding the reason why he had a fever. "Did you sleep outside the apartment last night?"


"Hn." He answers, his eyes opening in midway and rubs his left eye, probably not believing I was here, kneeling beside him. 


"Where did you sleep last night?" I ask, placing his palms between mine to change its temperature to normal. He looks at me, lazily and eyelids still half open. Then one hand removes from my grasp, making me a little shock and use it as he coughs. 


"In." Coughs. "The tavern near the building."


"Huh? Why? And you didn't even change your clothes!" I exclaim, exasperated, grabbing his hand and make him look at me, my eyes turning into slits. "Why'd you have to be so careless?"


"Don't even act like my girlfriend." He says, almost monotonous and it stabbed my heart. I put his hands, that were between my hands, near my chest, not taking the fact my heart was beating rapidly. 


"Youngbae, you have a fever! I don't care if I'm not your girlfriend, I'm your friend! I'm here as your your friend! And I don't want to see you miserable!"I say, exasperated and he retrieves his hands from my grasp, standing up while pointing a finger at me. 


"Then, you should haven't broke up with me if you don't want to see me miserable." He laughs, bitterness is hinted in his laugh. "I can't believe you're saying it in front of my face, exactly 2 months and 1 day after you left me alone."


"Youngbae..." I mumble, my eyes moistening. He looks at me, firmly and says, "Leave me alone." A vein pops in my head, irritation spreading all over my body and I turn my hands into fists, gritting my teeth. 


"No, I won't." I disagree, crossing my arms. "I won't leave you."


"You left me already, and I find myself miserable when you did. But don't worry, I can manage another 2 months without you by my side to guide me in everything I do." He says, massaging his temples. I stand up, almost tripping and put my hands on my waist, my eyes turning into irritated slits.


"Why're you so stubborn? Can't you see you're alone here with your raging fever? Do you want to die?" I ask, grabbing his shoulders and shake him, waking him up to his daydream. Why is he so stubborn and stupid? What the hell happened to the Youngbae I know? To the Youngbae that once have been my friend. Is this the effect of what I had done? Why am I so inane? GAAAAHD. 


"What if I want to die? You'll leave me?" He asks, his lips droop, his eyes looking at me angrily and I shake my head, slowly taking my grasp off his shirt. 


"No, I won't leave you because if you want to die because...I'll blame myself again for it." I say, whispering and hang my head low, pressing my lips as I resist the urge to cry. My eyes moisten, blurring my vision and I storm out of his room, leaning against the wall as angrily grit my teeth. What a crybaby am I?


Oh, playing pride again?My inner comments, chuckling. You two used to do it when you were still friends. 


Don't ever get started with it.I say to her, irritably as I blow up the hair covering my face, crossing my arms.


"This...may be funny, but I wish you can understand, but I know you will. Since, I think you have felt it towards me too. You know, I thought, the emotion I felt for you was...love. It just suddenly changed when, you broke up with me." He says and I feel his body plop on the bed, creating a squeaky sound. I cover my mouth, listening to his explanation somehow. It didn't hurt, not even a thing. Why? I thought I love him? Why won't it hurt? Things really get crazier than ever. Is this what Top and Bom tried to tell me earlier?


Before I could speak, he beats me to it. "When I asked Teddy Appa about it, he says it's longing for companionship that's why I asked you that 'question'. He said I was just scared to lose a friend like you that's why I mistaken my feelings with...love. I guess, within the both parties, Appa knows the whole truth." 


"Just continue. I'll listen." I say, peering inside to see him. He was staring at the floor, his feet rubbing against each other. 


"Jiyong and I had a talk about our relationship, and guess what he did stated the same as Teddy Appa's. I can't believe he's happy for it, though. Sometimes, I ask myself, when we were still together, why does everytime we have a date, it's not that you know, super special at all. It was like, a friendly date like what most friends do. You know, like it was just normal. The more I got curious, the more I find myself being a bad boyfriend to you. That's when, the fans talked about the rumors they thought we had." He says, chuckling. "I was posting things on Me2day like 'not in love' or things related to that, and netizens started to spread rumors. Believe me, I know it."


I chuckle, making him look at me and smile, showing him how glad I were that he's starting to babble, or kind of share things with me. He motions for me to sit down beside him, and I obey, starting to pay attention in his so called 'story'. 


"Then when I found out you auditioned for Jiyong's MV from Teddy, believe me, I laughed my head off. You told me you don't want to be famous, but you just involved yourself to a very famous idol. I really can't believe you!" He exclaims, laughing so hard he needs to clasp on to his stomach then he started again when he stop laughing. "So, we three, Jiyong, me and Teddy, came up with a plan to know if you really did love me."


"And that was?" I ask, raising a brow. He looks at me, his eye smiling again. 


"Well, your talk with Jiyong at Han River is part of the plan, but we didn't really know Bom'll be telling Jiyong to meet you at Han River because we just planned that he'll go to your house." He says, pausing for a moment. "Then, while you're talking with him, he called me, silently on the phone. So, we kinda, know what's happening there. Woah, I must admit, you do really love me."


I pout, glaring at him. "Geez, fine. I love you."


"Really?" He asks, looking at me, his shock obviously hinted in his voice and I chuckle, slapping his arm gently. 


"Of course as a friend. Now, go on with the story!" 


"So, yeah." He stops first, swallowing an amount of saliva and laughs. "We planned that Jiyong will drive you to YG, then he'll leave you at Teddy's studio and I'll arrive after. I really laughed when you hid yourself in the recording room though."


"Hey! How did you know?!" I exclaim, butting in and pinch his arm. He rubs his arm, smiling at me widely. 


"You think the studio is sound proof? And as I told you, Appa is a part of our allegiance. Sheesh, I thought you were smarter than I thought. I really heard when you whisper, 'Hide me! Hide me!'." He says, in a matter-of-fact tone, rolling his eyes. "So, I did a little drama, but believe me, my words were not scripted."


"Yes, I still do love her. Yes, I still want to be called Youngbabe." I say, imitating his voice, croaking a bit because I remembered it, just that sentence. He looks at me, his eyes into slits and forcefully whip his hair as he look ahead again. But I don't feel any anger towards them or him even though they have lied and planned a scheme involving me. Just then, I realize, love is not just a word. It's not just any emotion you feel. Not just a feeling. Maybe, I'm too young to notice how big Love is. That it's not just that easy, and has to be taken with big responsibility. Maybe, I too, was scared to lose Youngbae, and those tears back then, maybe was just the same tears I cried when Bom left me for America. Those mumbling of love and missing, is just a one whole big of misunderstanding.