The Toy Master Series: Behind the Scenes

ONE-SHOT: Broken Messages

Words: 2481

Couple: Tobias/Carter

Ratings/Warnings: AnGsT

Request: A snippet of Tobias reacting to Carter's message that he left when the car stopped.

Notes: I'm pretty tired but I wanted to get this written and posted before I went to bed. One shot requested by awaitingescape. I hope this meets your expectations, hun!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How long had it been? Three months? Four? Five? I'd lost count some time ago, but it still felt as if I'd been in Italy with Carter just the day before. Whenever I closed my eyes I could easily imagine that he was still with me, standing beside me, or just in front of me, lying in bed waiting for me, but when I opened my eyes, the reality was painful.

He wasn't with me, and he hadn't been for months now. Our last conversation, he'd sounded so broken and tearful, his words unsteady, his voice weak, I could hear the tears and the way he tried to hide them from me. Fighting to keep up the façade, pretending he was still loyal to the Con Rồng, was breaking his heart.

I wanted him safe. I wanted him out of there and in my arms, but he was so stubborn. Why was it he insisted on taking on all of this alone, simply because of his guilt? He wanted to atone for the way the world was shattered, but how could he not see that the destruction of society was out of his hands? It wasn't his fault. Demitri's kidnapping wasn't his fault. Nothing he felt guilty for was his fault, yet he insisted on taking all of the weight onto his own shoulders. Alone.

My clueless, stubborn little fox.

I hadn't spoken to him in nearly five months. The last time I heard his voice was the day after we parted in Italy. Since then I'd tried to call him every day, sometimes I would sit in my study with the Bluetooth in my ear and just wait, for hours, all through the night, for him to contact me, but he never did; and he never answered.

After seeing how my worry was consuming, enough that I wasn't eating, Bryn tried to reassure me that everything was alright. He told me Carter was probably just busy, he'd gone days, weeks even, without speaking to me before, and that there was nothing to worry about, but this was different. I could feel it.

I wouldn't argue that there were occasional spans of silence from Carter, where he wouldn't answer my calls or return them, but those torturous times never lasted more than a week at most. He would always get back to me and explain what had kept him, normally work with the new government, keeping an eye on his crazy brother, or training the soldiers (he was one of the best the government had after all, of course he would train the rest of them).

This time... was different. After two weeks passed with no news, no answer, I started to worry, and after a month, I began to panic. More than once I found myself wandering towards the kitchen, my throat burning with the desire to return to that addicting taste of liquor, but whenever I realized what I was doing I forced myself to turn away and walk back to my room.

Eight years of sobriety for Carter would not be broken now, no matter how much I wanted to fall into that drunken state of blindness where none of my anxiety could reach me.

I had to force myself to work. Every morning the only reason I woke up was to call Carter again, just in case he picked up. After two month I nearly lost my common sense, storming through the mansion with a gun in my hand, heading for the helicopter on the roof. I didn't care if I was shot down on the way to the Con Rồng base. I didn't care if they captured me, I didn't care if they killed me, because they had my lover, and for all I knew, he was dead already.