Love Affair

31| Faith

Rocky POV

I made it to my house and ran to my bathroom splashing water on my face. I looked at my reflection- I felt like a pure monster, a beast.

I can't believe my past has come to haunt me damn near 4 years later. I know what I did wasn't right but it definitely was justifiable, he wanted me dead not the other way around but I know for a fact Skylar would hate my guts and I cant have that but it ain't right to keep this away from her.

Now here I am face to face with my heart and morals. I walked upstairs to my room and rolled me a blunt. Here I was 21 years old and I felt like I was having a midlife crisis. I don't know who I am anymore, what I stand for or why I even still do this shit. I've pushed everyone I love away from me, it's like all my life I've just been running and it seems like I'm losing every good thing I find.

I lost my brother, my dad, Amanda, I'm about to lose Sky and I can't fucking find Jordan. I'm losing my fucking mind!

I was dragging from the blunt but the shit felt like it was dragging me. Smoking ain't helping so I put my blunt out and grabbed my keys again, going to to my car that was still parked in front of Sky's house.

I pulled away and headed to Sugar Hill.

I know I'm a scum bag and now your heart broke

The night is still young, for you to sleep and whine

Slow, slow, slow, for you to sleep and whine

Slow, slow, slow

I know your heart is broken, pick up your wine glass

With your fine ass, before your wine glass

Slow, slow, just lemme see you whine

Slow, slow

How the fuck am I supposed to feel?

How the fuck am I supposed to deal?

How many fucks am I supposed to give?

Say you're in love with me, but I know it never gon' work

I screwed up, now I'm drinkin' syrup

I know that look that you givin' me

I'm a killer and she's awfully into me

I huffed, trying to get these voices out my head. I parked my car and got out , walking inside the building. I stepped into the elevator, punching the 7th floor.

I stood there for a moment before knocking, getting myself together. I finally got it together putting my knuckles to the door, knocking 3 times.

I heard locks being turned and the door slowly opened..

"Hey Mama.. It's me Rakim"

She covered her mouth and I could see tears form in her eyes. She grabbed me and looked at me up and down, observing me.