Silence and Secrets

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The next few days passed in something of a blur.

Everyone one had been hit hard by the news, Alfie and Elsa especially.

~~

Elsa had gone to her room after hearing the news and hadn't come out until the following evening; this was when Jody had turned up, sobbing and barely able to speak coherently enough to request staying the night as she couldn't deal with the empty house.

Bobby had insisted that she stay in the guest room for as long as she needed and refused to hear otherwise.

Several hours later, Elsa had decided to go and see Jody. She had no idea what she would say, and had a horrible feeling that she may make the situation worse.

Knocking lightly on the basement door, she waited to for Jody's muffled voice to call her in, before carefully descending the stairs; she found the sheriff sat amongst a bundle of bed covers decorated with torn up tissues.

Jody stood up.

Her hair was unruly, her whole demeanour off-balance and there were red marks bordering her eyes.  Without a word, she strode over and encased the Winchester in a tight hug as fresh tears slipped from her face.  The weight on her soul was crushing.

Jody pulled away, brushing at her face with the end of a sleeve and trying to avoid the girl's eyes that held the same expression as Alex's: a wild and searching intensity.

Jody smiled bravely. "Did you want to talk to me about anything?"

Elsa hesitated, then shook her head.

"Oh, I nearly forgot," with an attempt at a cheerful normality, Jody moved over to the bedside table and picked up a black phone, "This is—" she caught herself just short of a sob. "This was Alex's. I want you to have it."

Silence.

"The password's 'Lake.' It was in her journal."

Elsa allowed the phone to be placed in her hands.  The black casing was cool and impersonal.

"I've got some things to get on with," Jody motioned to several boxes placed carefully on the side, "If anything else comes up, I'll call you."

Elsa nodded — her voice seemed to have gotten lost somewhere — and turned to follow the stairs out. 

~~

Sitting alone in her bedroom, Elsa toyed with the phone. It still felt cold. She hadn't turned it on yet, it didn't feel right — nothing did.

It felt so false.

More than anything, Elsa wanted to call Alfie. She hadn't said a word to him, or anyone for that matter, since Bobby had delivered the news. She'd just sat there, rigid and staring blankly. The next thing she knew, Alfie was hugging her tightly and crying. She'd hugged back more for his sake than her own.

When he'd gone, Dean having driven him back with Cas and Gabriel, Elsa had retreated to her room.

At first, the space had been soothing.

It had felt like she'd been going to have some kind of meltdown, so many emotions raging war within, and the solitude of her small, bare room was a relief.  Then there was a shift, somewhere inside, and it was as if all feeling had been snuffed out and replaced by a dull ache.

She didn't understand that at all.

But calling Alfie meant speaking: she was incapable of that right now. It was almost like when they'd first met, and she'd spoken only on the rare occasion that it was strictly necessary. Over the past couple of months, she'd grown out of that.

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