Love To Remember

Fourteen

fourteen» kai’lani

 It’s hard not remembering things. Chris is trying his hardest to help me but I can’t remember anything. Right now, I was playing with Christian.

 ‘’Mommy, are you better?’’ He asked.

 ‘’A little bit baby boy. I can’t remember things.’’ I said.

 ‘’Mommy, do you remember all of our times?’’ He asked.

 ‘’A little bit.’’ I said.

 ‘’I want you to remember all of us. Daddy was crying this morning about this. He didn’t see me, but I seen him. He was looking at books full of pictures.’’ He said. Wow, I didn’t know he would do that.

 ‘’Christian, go with your grandmother really quick. I’ll be back down in a second.’’ I said walking.upstairs. Chris was in his music room. I walked inside, to see him writing a song. ‘’Chris?’’ I asked, closing the door. He looked at me.

 ‘’What?’’ He asked.

 ‘’I know you were crying this morning. Christian told me. Don’t cry, I’ll get my memory back.’’ I said in his lap.

 ‘’Kai, you don’t know how hard it is. My wife, the mother of my children, my rock, and most importantly my mi amor, doesn’t remember anything about me. Do you remember us getting married?’’ He asked. I shook my head, no. ‘’How is this marriage suppose to work when you don’t even remember who I am?’’ He asked.

 ‘’Chris, I’m trying. It’s hard for me. I can’t even remember the memories with my children. Chris I don’t wanna even try anymore.’’ I said breaking down in his arms. He held me into his arms. ‘’Chris I’m scared.’’ I said, wiping my eyes.

 ‘’We’re going to work this out, step by step. Do you remember our favorite dessert?’’ He asked.

 ‘’Cookies N’ Cream?’’ I asked uneasily.

 ‘’Yes it is.’’ He said.

 ‘’When Christian was born, what was your nickname for him?’’ He asked.

 ‘’Stink-stink.’’ I answered.

 ‘’Yeah, your final question. What is my favorite meal?’’ He asked.

 ‘’Umm, I think spaghetti was it.’’ I said.

 ‘’Yes it is. Kai you remember the little things but not the major stuff.’’ He said. I sighed, putting my head into the wet chest. He put his head on mine.

 ‘’Chris do you think I will get my memory back?’’ I asked.

 ‘’I think you eventually will. When you do, everyone will be happy for you.’’ He said.

 ‘’I can’t believe I lost both of my daughter and son. I’m so fuckinhg stupid.’’ I said.

 ‘’No you’re not Kai’lani.’’ He said.

 ‘’Don’t call me that, I remember you calling me that when you were mad at me.’’ I said.

 ‘’Kai, don’t blame yourself.’’ He said, caressing my cheek.

 ‘’Chris, I wanna be myself again. I wanna remember.’’ I said crying into his chest. Chris held me close to him. He kissed my forehead, rocking me back and forth. I just want the old me back. Not this confused person I’ve become.

 ‘’Baby girl, listen to me. You’re gonna remember everything one day. We’ve gotta keep trying. The kids need you, your sisters and mother need you, most importantly I need you. I do this by myself. I’ll go insane if you ever leave me. I love you to death, Kai.’’ He said. Hot tears streamed down his face.

 ‘’Chris don’t cry, I’m trying ok. I know I’m going to remember one day but for now you gotta help me. Babe, don’t give up on me even when it gets hard.’’ I said.

‘’Kai, I never planned on giving up on you. I know this is hard for you as hard as it is for me.’’ He said.

 '’It’s hard Chris. Sometimes I wanna stay in the bed and let all the memories fade but other days I wanna be my old self. Chris this is a hard life to live.’’ I said.

 ‘’Baby, I know it’s hard. I was in rehab before you going into the accident. I know that it’s hard but you gotta push through.’’ He said.

 ‘’I remember you going to rehab but I don’t remember anything but a little fragment of it. Chris how was I when I was pregnant with the twins?’’ I asked.

 ‘’You were nice, sweet and hormonal. You were always joyful and energetic like the kids. You and the kids always were out somewhere.’’ He explained.

 ‘’I wanna know, how our relationship has been. Was it always like this or did we have really bad times?’’ I asked.

 ‘’Well, at first I cheated with my ex, Karrueche. You were mad and didn’t talk to me for a year. I got Karrueche pregnant and you got mad because you thought I was making you the side chick. Pretty much, our relationship has been hella rocky.’’ He said.

 ‘’I remember! You were making me the side chick Chris. Also, Karrueche took Brielle when we were on vacation in Florida. That’s when you learned you were going to rehab. All of it, is coming back to me. I remember the argument. You kissed your ex and felt a spark. What the fuck Chris!’’ I shouted.

 ‘’Kai, it just happened.’’ He said.

 ‘’It’s going to just happen when I stick my foot up your ass. I don’t even wanna be near you right now.’’ I said getting up from his lap. I walked out of the room, slamming the door behind myself. I remember almost everything. I guess that little person in my head decided to come back. I walked downstairs to see Christian and Leilani playing with Ms. Joyce.

 ‘’What happened?’’ She asked.

 ‘’He kissed his ex, Rihanna and felt a spark. I might can’t do this marriage no more. If he doesn’t one more thing I’m going to leave and I’m taking them with me.’’ I said looking down at Christian and Lelia.

 ‘’I’ll go talk to him, if you hear a whipping sound ignore it.’’ She said, getting up. I sat down on the ouch, walking Chris and Lelia.

‘’Mommy, do you remember anything now?’’ Lelia asked.

‘’Yes princess, mommy remember almost everything.’’ I said.

‘’Do you remember my nickname?’’ Christian asked.

‘’Yes, stink stink.’’ I said smiling. They sat beside me. They ended up falling asleep. I walked upstairs to Christian’s bedroom. I put him in the bed, kissing his forehead. I walked down the hall to hear yelling in the music room. I put Lelia up on my hip some more then listened.

‘’Boy you gonna end up losing her!’’ Mama Joyce yelled.

‘’Momma, she don’t wanna listen to me!’’ He shouted.

‘’She has a lot on her plate. How would you feel if she was kissing one of her ex’s! Chris you is goddamn stupid! If she leave you, don’t be surprise. You’re my son, but your acting like this big star. Don’t think I can’t whip your grown ass!’’ She yelled. I walked down to Lelia’s room, putting her into the bed. I kissed her forehead. I walked out of the room, to the master bedroom. I sat down on the bed, looking down on my nails.

I was in a coma for six months then had amnesia. Wow, this is been some year. I’m ready to move forward. Chris came walking into the bedroom, I think Ms. Joyce whooped his ass.

‘’Kai, I-.’’ He began to say but I cut him off.

‘’You’re sleeping on the couch in the living room. I don’t wanna talk to you.’’ I said.

‘’No you’re gonna listen.’’ He said.

‘’No, I’m not.’’ I said. He pushed me against the wall. I looked up into his eyes. I pushed him out of the bedroom, closing and locking the door. I’m not gonna cry, that’s a waste of tears. I sat down on the bed, my knees up to my chest and my head to my knees.

Well, she can remember now. Did you think what Chris did was wrong? Mama Joyce was something else. Leave a comment, vote, follow, and leave feedback.-Daniella