Fix You

Chapter Twenty-Eight

        I shut the garage doors, feeling almost disheartened. I'd spent hours working, finding the empty space Babette had occupied to be almost taunting. I wiped at my eyes once more, feeling almost regretful. Yet I felt better, for a reason almost unknown to myself. The box of parts occupied the floor space, the circuit boards and wires almost crying to me to put them back together. 

       I walked through my house now, shutting the garage behind me as I stepped into the almost unwelcoming home. I sighed, peering into a mirror and adjusting my hair. I probably smelled like oil, but that was quickly remedied with a sptritz of my newer perfume. I used my bathroom before stepping into my shoes downstairs. I grabbed what I needed and crossed the street, peering down at the bright street lamps before I wandered into the Smith's house, finding Beth working in the kitchen while the teens sat with their father. 

       "Where's Rick?" I asked Beth, gaining a surprised 'holy-' as she spun around. "Garage. Why?" Beth went back to stirring a pot and I shrugged, "Just need to talk to him." Beth smiled softly, "Dear, he's been having trouble recently. Are you sure it can't wait?" I nodded, wandering towards the garage door. It'd been closed from the outside, the garage oddly shut as I had walked up the path.

       I pressed the garage door open and stepped into the room, shutting the door behind me. "Go away, M-Morty," Rick grumbled from his desk. His head was down once more, an empty bottle near his head. I sighed and walked over, "I'm not that bundle of hormones." Rick grumbled something I didn't catch and sighed heavily. I leaned against his desk and sighed, watching as he slowly lifted his head and looked away. "What?" He mumbled, using his sleeve to dry his face once more. 

       I cleared my throat and twiddled my thumbs for a moment. "I'm sorry," I mumbled. "What do you urp have to be s-s-sorry for? It's my own damn f-fault," Rick's voice broke again and I was pretty sure my heart went with it. I scooched closer to where he was sitting, using my own sleeve to lightly dry his tears. "I don't want you crying anymore," I explained. His brow turned up and his eyes watered again as he grit his teeth, choking back a sob. "Rick," I pleaded, "you gotta stop beating yourself up or whatever it is that you're doing." I dried his face again and he looked down at his desk, resting his face in his hands. "I'm not be-beating myself urp u-up over this, I-I'm just-" He never finished his sentence as he exhaled sharply. 

       "I want you to tell them." I stared at the concrete floor in the garage. Rick sniffed and looked up, his eyes watery. "What?"

       "I want you to tell them," I repeated, twiddling my thumbs. "I'm not going to make you keep it a secret or whatever. Tell them whenever you want." I sighed, chewing my lip. Rick almost laughed in disbelief, "You wa-want me to tell th-them, or are you urp ju-just trying to m-make me feel better?"

       I sighed, "I want you to tell them, not just to make you feel better. I don't want to end up like my parents. They left me home alone because they didn't love each other enough to cooperate, to raise me properly. I don't want that for my kid. I don't want.. I don't want them to grow up with parents that couldn't cooperate, that didn't.. didn't love each other. So I want you to tell them. Even if.. if you hate me, I want you to tell them, because then it would make me feel like it won't be a repeat. I want the cycle to end with me. So tell them." I wiped my eyes and sniffed, kicking my feet in the air.

       Rick looked lost for words, staring straight at me. He furrowed his brow after a moment, "You think I hate you?"

       "Who doesn't anymore?" I mumbled, still swinging my legs. Rick stared at the ground. "I don't hate you, (Y/N). You s-say you urp want them to grow up with.. with parents that love each other?"

       I shrugged, "I'm not saying you have to love me, I'm just saying I want them to see something positive. Cooperation, at the least."

       "(Y/N), I've loved you since I took you out to eat for the first time in your life. I'd urp never have to pretend, to put on a show for.. for our baby. But, if you don't love me back, I can at least.. cooperate." Rick turned to look at me now, and I stared at the floor. "I want to believe that, but I've always thought that you don't care. What you said, the very next day, about love being nothing, that really.. made me think you didn't care at all. And then, when I brought the two to see you, you just.. looked at me so indifferently. There was nothing there, the few times you looked at me. I've spent so many months thinking you just didn't care, because you walked out of my house crying and I never told you how sorry I was for that." I looked back at Rick, finding his expression slightly unreadable. "But, if you mean it this time, like I hope you do," I mumbled, "I love you, too. And I want you to be there for the baby, if you want to so badly. And I'm sorry I kept them a secret from you. I just figured you'd run away again."

       Rick, at this point, was crying again. But it looked like a happy sort of crying. "(Y/N)," he mumbled, "I really, really mean it. I'm so sorry I ever hurt you, but I mean it. I love you, (Y/N). I've been in love with you for the longest time." 

       As Rick looked at me, all I saw in his teary eyes was blind honesty. There was only honestly, only meaning, as he stared back at me, crying once again. And I had begun to cry, too. In this moment, I could believe Rick. I could believe everything he had to say to me. 

      Rick stood from his chair now, cupping each side of my face so tenderly. "(Y/N)," he muttered, "I promise, I love you, and I will be there for this baby." 

       If ever there was a definition for most passionate, romantic kiss, it would be this one instant in which we both remained for the longest time.