Fix You

Chapter Twenty-Four

       Desk chairs suck if you're going to be sitting for thirteen hours a day. Work, sleep, work, sleep, it's all the same anymore. I barely have any 'me' time.
       Recently, I'd spoken to Anthony in private and had my uniform adjusted. My stomach was beginning to grow a bit, though it wasn't too noticeable yet. For that, I was grateful. I didn't want to have to explain that one a million times when I wandered the halls of this damned facility. 

       "Keeno Jarnes, Dimension D-192, charged with... holy shit," I looked over the file. This man had nearly done just as much as Rick had: everything. I scrolled through the entire file, glancing warily at the new team member sitting before me. I sighed heavily and tossed a folder towards them, "Here you go. If you have any issues with this, don't hesitate to come fine me, alright?" I smiled kindly, gaining a timid grin in response before the agent shook my hand and made his way out the door.

       "Miss Addams," Anthony poked his head through the door. Recently, he'd become similar to my second in command, acting more as a secretary than anything. "Come on in." The timid creature wandered into the room, shutting the door behind himself and sitting in the chair across from my own.

       "I just wanted to say that, even though you've only worked for the Federation for a month, now, I love to see what you've been doing. It's absolutely wonderful! We've been running more efficiently that we have in decades! You have definitely made your parents proud, may their souls rest in peace." Anthony nodded most humbly and I smiled softly, "Thanks, Anthony. I really never saw myself here, even after hearing about my history for the first time." 

       I sighed, remembering what had happened when Rick found out I was related to the most renowned agents for the Federation. He had hated me then almost as much as he did now. 

       "You're doing wonderfully, (Y/N). I just wanted to make sure you were aware of that." Anthony grinned. I'd only recently been able to discern the facial expressions of the Gromflomites, finding them to be most peculiar. "I appreciate that very much, Anthony." With that, the man politely wandered from my office.

       I sighed, leaning back in the chair. My hours didn't allow me to nap as much as I needed to. Every five minutes, it seemed, I had a meeting of some sort. I didn't mind it, I was changing the world in a way I never thought possible, but I hadn't expected to be pregnant while doing so. I hadn't expected to be pregnant at all this early in my life.

       If I was to be completely honest, there had been many times where I wondered if I should just terminate the pregnancy before he found out. Even after he found out, I wondered if I should just do it already. I wasn't ready to be a parent, and I knew I wouldn't be for a while. I was young, and I made a mistake I still deem as dumb. But, no matter what, three things always kept me from doing it, always made me feel guilty for thinking about it:

       It is a living, breathing baby, throughout. I'd hate myself if I terminated the poor being now, or at any other point in the pregnancy where I could.

       The baby will be my legacy, this will be my child. There's nothing saying I can't do this apart from my growing paranoia and fear that I will suck as a parent. Beth is proof enough that it can be done, and she was even younger than I am now.

       And, finally, what kind of person would I be if I destroyed this little piece of Rick without telling him, without talking to him about it first? I can't even think of doing that to him. That would crush him so unbelievably, the thought hurt me almost physically.

        Sighing, I settled back into the desk chair, swiveling slightly and waiting for the next meeting.