04.17 - c.s

seksten

I walked up to the courtyard nervously, my hands stuffed deep down in the pockets of my coat and my head down to the ground. As I looked up, I saw how a lot of students were staring at me in awe, and it boosted my confidence slightly. Still, I was way too nervous with what was going to happen with Chris. I scanned the courtyard until I saw him. He was walking up to me, his hands in his pockets as well. He stood still in front of me. "Hey."

"Hey," I whispered back, looking up at him. He smiled and hesitated before asking me a rather surprising question.

"Um— can I kiss you?" he asked me softly, his volume low so only I could hear it.

I took a second to think about it before nodding, "yes, you can."

He grinned, "good. We're seriously going to be the only thing this school talks about for weeks." Before I could answer him, he softly pushed his lips onto mine, kissing me for about ten seconds before pulling away. From the corner of my eye, I saw some people literally videoing us, as if we were famous. I shrugged it off and turned to look at Chris again.

"We?" I asked. Chris looked a bit taken aback by my comment. "I mean, not to put any pressure on you, but is this," I motioned between him and me, "just a hookup? Or is it more?"

Chris sighed deeply, "I don't know, Roxelle." Both our voices were still low, not allowing anyone to overhear our conversation.

"That's okay," I sighed, too, "you don't have to have everything figured out right now. You can take your time."

"But what if after a while I realize you're not what I want?" Chris asked, defeated, "what if I tell you to wait for me but I never come back? I'll hurt you."

I frowned at the thought, but picked myself up, "that's never stopped you before. With other girls."

"There's a difference between other girls and you, Roxelle," he stuffed his hands back in his pockets, "unlike those other girls, I care about you."

"Wow," I didn't know what to reply. Christoffer Schistad admitting he cared about someone else than William Magnusson, that was huge. "Well, then you should try right? To figure out what you want? Imagine if you don't, and then you're sixty and you've ended up alone, only to realize all you've ever wanted was me. Would you want that to happen?"

Chris shook his head.

"Trust me, it's better to find out now than later. Even if there's a risk that one of us gets hurt in the process," I reassured him. He nodded, wrapping his arms around my waist and hugging me. "You're a better guy than I thought you were when I first met you, Christoffer Schistad," I whispered in his ear. He kissed my cheek and pulled away.

"I'll see you around, Roxelle," he winked and turned around, walking back to his friends. I rolled my eyes playfully, and realized how okay I suddenly was with him calling me by my full name. I spotted my friends staring at me from across the courtyard and walked up to them.

"Hei, girls," I smiled, approaching them. Noora smiled and hugged me.

"Congratulations," she smirked. I giggled at her comment as the others agreed, except for Sana. Sana looked between Chris and me skeptically.

"Are you sure he won't fuck you over and then leave you?" Sana asked me, concern laced in her voice. I smiled at her weakly, loving how she always felt the need to keep us safe.

"No," I admitted, "but he's genuine with me. He even told me that there's a risk he'll fuck me over, but he told me that he'd try to figure out what he wants. I trust him with that. He needs to do this so he can maybe better himself. Even if that involves a heartbreak for me."

Sana hugged me, sighing, "I sometimes hate how good of a person you are," she mumbled into my neck. I smiled, mumbling a 'thanks' back. The bell rang and Sana and I walked to English together. English was a pretty chill class to start the week off with, because our teacher wasn't strict at all. Halfway through class I got a notification on my phone. We were still working on the book we had to read, but seeing I read it already I figured I could see who texted me.

Chris Schistad: i'm bored

Elle: what do you want me to
do about it?

Chris Schistad: come make
out with me in the hallway.

Chris Schistad: i'm in the C-block,
in front of classroom 318.

I smirked and raised my hand. "Yes, Elle?" my teacher asked.

"Ma'am, can I go to the bathroom?" I asked her. She nodded and I was quick to stand up, sliding my phone in my back pocket and hurrying to see Chris.