nineteen: inevitable

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Stiles had arrived 15 minutes ago and since then we've just sat in his car outside of my house. I didn't want to be in there anymore, but I didn't really have anywhere else to go. Stiles was kind about it though. We've just been sitting in silence for the time being, and I was thankful for Stiles' patience. He was waiting for me to talk, whenever I was ready.

But for some reason I just felt numb. I didn't know what to think, I didn't know how I should feel. Peter had said that he loved me, but for obvious reasons it was so hard for me to believe. However, those three years growing up with him, were some of my happiest memories. He was nothing but kind and showered both my mother and I with love. I didn't want to believe that was all an act. I wanted to believe that there was some good in him.

And on top of all of this stress, I knew that I had to fight my pack tomorrow. Time was quickly running out, and I needed to make sure that if there was anything I needed to say that I should say it now. Just in case.

"Stiles," I breathed.

"Yeah Lains?" He spoke quietly and carefully.

I looked over at him and he had soft gaze on his face. It showed so much concern and care for me, and it just broke my heart to look at it.

"Thank you." I told him.

He shook his head slowly and then asked "For what?"

I shrugged my shoulders and let out a heavy sigh, "For everything. You've just always been there whenever I needed you." I looked down at my lap, tears brimming my waterline, "I just-I don't think I deserve you."

"Lainy are you crazy?" Stiles let out a half-hearted laugh, "If anything I don't deserve you."

I couldn't hold it in anymore, and looked up at him with tears dropping from my face.

"Lainy, what's wrong?"

"There's so much." I answered vaguely, "So much I don't know how to say, so much I don't know what to say, so much that might be left unsaid."

"Why are you saying this? Lainy, what's going on?" Stile asked growing concerned.

"I can't tell you," I snapped.

I didn't mean to raise my voice like I did, and I saw the sadden flash over Stiles eyes

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I didn't mean to raise my voice like I did, and I saw the sadden flash over Stiles eyes.

I looked back down and whispered a soft yet genuine, "I'm sorry."

"If you can't tell me, I'll just have to accept that," Stiles said and then reached for my hand, giving it a tight squeeze. I held my breath.

"But, Lainy..."

He paused waiting for me to look back up at him.

"Don't do anything stupid."

I squeezed my eyes closed tightly, and let the sobs escape. I don't think that I've ever cried in front of Stiles- but he knew just what to do. He quickly encompassed me in his arms and pulled me close to his chest.

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