Chapter thirty-six

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Anxiety, excitement and a little bit of fear.

Those were my three major feelings as I sat at home on the couch waiting for Andrea to be done dressing up in her room and for Katherine and Lucy to arrive so we could go birthday-shopping.

We were going dress shopping for my birthday that was in three days after I had been purposely postponing the thing to avoid it but I had eventually succumbed to peer pressure.

The same way I had agreed to throwing a party much to my embarrassment because I hadn't thrown a party ever but they had all forced me and said it would be great.

Like turning 22 was really something to celebrate.

Turning any year wasn't actually anything for me to celebrate because I never really believed in spending birthdays in a special way. I just always did my normal thing which was receiving gifts from my family, special dinners from my mom and spending time with Andrea and then Dex after he came into my life.

After my mom was gone though, it became gifts and spending time with my dad, Andrea, my aunt and her family. Andrea always cooked a special meal for me though and it was always a slightly special and different day but always reminded me of how birthdays with my mom used to be.

Or how my first birthday only a few weeks after her death had been horrible. Turning 17 that year had been horrid.

Another reason I didn't like my birthdays now was because they reminded me of birthdays with Dex and Andrea back at Wyandotte.

The ringing of the doorbell sounded and I automatically stood up to open for either one of them who came first. It was Katherine.

I greeted her with a smile and a small hug. Then shouted at Andrea to try to be faster in dressing up while Katherine chuckled when Andrea replied me by screaming a lie that contained three words. "I'm almost done."

Katherine made eye contact with me then because we both knew she was so not done yet. I smiled as I sat beside Katherine and prepared to talk. I was internally thankful that I no longer felt awkward looking at or talking to her because she reminded me of Caden and the feelings she had for him.

I had first avoided her for a few days to clear my head but had brushed it all off because not like it was my business. Everyone were liable to their own feelings even if those feelings gave me a burning sensation in my chest. Or that they made me want to tear my hair out when it came to mind.

All that was normal of course and showed that I felt nothing for him and had nothing against Katherine having feelings for him for more than three years since she met him.

Denial.

"You shouldn't worry about the party." Katherine brought me away from my musings by her gently spoken words.

I sighed heavily and she laughed. "We would take care of everything and all you have to worry about is being there. It would also just be family and friends invite only so no surprises. It's just to make you feel special and we would make sure that day is special for you."

My heart lightened at her reassurance. "You're a great person, you know that?" She smiled with her eyes as I gave her a look filled with appreciation and genuine feelings.

"I am happy to call you my friend." I continued with the same look.

"Oh please, don't let her feel more special than she is." Andrea said as she sauntered into the room in a short black floral print dress shirt with so not medicated glasses on. She looked beautiful with it on, but I still sighed and teased.

"You know we are just going to a boutique and not to visit Kevin right? Because you spent years in there." Katherine chortled and I smirked while Andrea glared before giving me a sickly sweet smile. "Let's go now, please."

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