Strong (A Niall Horan Fanfiction)

Chapter 37~ Addicted

My eyes are swollen from the crying I have endured in the past few hours. My knotted hair pulled over one shoulder, lying messy. Yet, he looks at me as if I am an angel that is holding his attention.

His glistening eyes blink rapidly as he tries to rid himself of tears. I’ve never seen him in such a vulnerable state. I’ve seen him tear up once or twice, but this looks like he had a break down.

He is really good at hiding his emotions, yet he complains when I put a wall up to hide my own emotions. We are always protecting each other from ourselves when we should be protecting each other from the cruel reality of the world.

My lips part as I prepare to say something but no words are released. Warm streaks of salt water run down my cheeks. I let them fall; showing him how much he hurt me when he drove away. I look down at the ground to hide my face.

He breathes out my name again, not trusting his full voice. My eyes stay directed at the carpet under our feet. His thumb and index finger grip my chin, lifting it so I am looking into his eyes.

Once our desperate pupils are locked on one another, his eyes flicker back and forth from both of mine, trying to read me. He can see the pain behind my eyes; he knows that I am broken.

He pulls me into a much needed hug. My arms squeeze his middle and his are slung around my neck. My head is resting against his beating chest. I listen to the thump of his heart as we stand embracing each other. A wet spot is gathering on his shirt as my tears fall onto the cloth, making it look darker.

I close my eyes and focus my hearing on the rate of his heartbeat. It quickens when I squeeze him tighter and a small smile replaces my frown.

He does love me.

Niall is the first to escape our hug. He grabs my hand and pulls me into the room, closing the door silently before leading me to take a seat on the bed that has been pulled out. The atmosphere instantly changes to serious and I start to panic. I’m scared to ask him about his earlier departure, in fear of his response.

What if he is ready to leave me officially? What if this is it? The end?

My breathing quickens and he gives me a squeeze of my hand to calm me down. He knows what I am thinking and he doesn’t want me to fear the worst. I take a few deep sighs before focusing my attention on our entwined fingers.

I play with the tips of his fingernails, trying to distract my own thoughts. He watches me intently without saying anything yet. The silence is just beginning to calm me when he clears his throat slightly.

My muscles tense and I straighten my back preparing to run if I need to get out. If this takes a turn for the worst and we drift apart, I won’t be able to stay in this house. I will have to get away. Far away. I would finally reach my breaking point.

Before he gets the chance to speak I urgently accuse him, pain laced in my voice. “You left me.”

“I know.” His whisper barely reaches my ears and I have to look at him to read his lips.

“You just walked away and you didn’t even look back. It was easy for you.” I continue.

“It was not easy!” the volume in his voice rising causing me to slightly jump. He’s trying to convince me that he didn’t intend to hurt me, but that is exactly what he did when he walked away.

“How could you just drive away from me? I begged you to stay and you just left. You promised me that you would fight for me!” My tear-stained cheeks are quickly wiped with the pad of Niall’s thumb.

“I am not going to be the one to stand between you and your parents’ relationship,” his shaky voice traveling around the room. “They know what is best for you. I’m trying to fight for you, but it seems that I always am the one putting you in danger.”