Strong (A Niall Horan Fanfiction)

Chapter 35~ Neutral

The journey from Niall’s house to mine has been silent. The radio is the only sound filling the small atmosphere other than the roar of the engine as we accelerate down the back road. Neither one of us knows what to say. I am about to confront my parents about the attacks I have been a victim of. I’m afraid of the outcome that their reactions will bring.

Will they go on a man hunt? Will I instantly have curfews and rules that will run my entire life? What about Niall? Are they going to be angry at him?

All these questions are roaming through my confused mind. I don’t want there to be any drastic changes that they make concerning how I live my life. Things like this happen. You just have to get passed it and move on. I hope they will allow me the opportunity to do that. I just want to forget.

I watch as the world passes by in a blur outside of my window. Yet, here I am. Trapped in one spot. Never moving forward. Neutral.

Niall pulls me from my trance when his hand rests on my knee. At least he is stuck in neutral with me. Otherwise, I might go insane.

“What are you thinking about love?” he breaks the silence.

“Everything,” I sigh. “How my parents will react. What they will say about you. Not being able to move on.”

His fingers rub soothingly along my leg. He isn’t sure how to help me. He’s just as confused as I am. We can’t predict the future and it makes everything seem more troubling.

He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth as he tries to find the solution. The answer doesn’t come to him. We are out of luck. The future will have to be a surprise for now.

Niall turns down my road and my heart starts pounding with anxiety. I might have a heart attack before I can even get inside of my house. The anticipation is killing me. I want to know what is going to happen before it happens. If I could see the future, maybe I could change the way I go about this. Instead, I am stuck in neutral. Nothing is going to happen until I take action.

The Range Rover pulls into my driveway and is placed in park. We sit in silence for what feels like a few seconds, but it’s probably really like five minutes.

Niall is watching me. My chest is rising and falling from my quick breathing as I stress about the events about to happen. I stare straight ahead. My eyes are focused on the garage door, but I see nothing. My mind is wandering through space, thinking up the worst possible scenarios.

To my surprise, Niall turns the engine off and climbs out of the car. He walks around to my side, opening my door. I turn and look at him slightly bewildered.

“Come on.” He instructs as his hands pull me out of the car and place me standing on the pavement. He closes the passenger door and locks the doors with the keychain remote.

I stand there motionless, afraid to move. Once I move, that means that the play button has been hit on my life again. Maybe I want to stay in neutral. Maybe I am not ready to face reality.

“What are you doing?” I find my voice. He was just supposed to drop me off and then go back home.

“I’m not letting you do this alone. You obviously are scared to face your parents. I’m not just going to drop you off in this state.” He gently grabs my hand and encourages me to move. My feet shuffle after him up the path and to the front door.

His hand rises as he prepares to knock on the wooden door. “Wait!” I stop his action.

“What?” he lowers his hand, looking into my eyes that have returned to normal.

“I can’t do this.”

“Yes you can.”

“No… no I can’t!”