I sat on the bed in Negan & I's room alone crying. Life was crashing down on me & I felt so useless / unwanted. Negan & I had gotten into a fight the previous night & we said things we didn't mean. In the morning, he would kiss me on my forehead before leaving. But today he just got up & left.
He probably hates you now I thought as I heard footsteps closer to the bedroom door as I quickly dried my face.
Negan walked in with Lucille swung around his shoulder & wearing his usual leather outfit. I avoided eye contact as I heard his footsteps get closer to me.
"I'm sorry about last night." He finally said as he sat down on the bed.
In the corner of my eye, I could see how guilty he felt. He kept his eyes glued to his fingers as he twiddled with his thumbs. I go to say something but get interrupted as a loud knock hits the door. Negan jumps up & opens the door in an annoyed way.
"What the fuck do you want, Dwight?" He exclaims as Dwight was always bothering him.
"Simon just wants to know when you want to leave to go to Alexandria." He says in an angered tone.
My heart sinks as the word 'Alexandria' hits my ears, that was my home for two years before Negan & the saviors ruined everything. I had gained depression throughout all of this. Negan & I were in a relationship but none of us were happy with each other, he had made that obvious when he would bang different girls every night in our own bed. I never smile anymore, I'm constantly reminded of all the horrible shit that's happened. I'm reminded every time I lock eyes with Negan.
"We'll just go now." Negan picks up Lucille & storms out slamming the door as the loud sound fills the room.
I am left alone again as tears begin to fall. All I wanted was to be happy & to be back with my family. I had expressed that to Negan but he argued that he was now my family which only made me hate him even more. I'm not going to lie, I once had a crush on him. He had chocolate brown eyes that I would find myself getting lost in & he was just so handsome. I wash my face & dry it off so it doesn't look wet as I exit the room to go to the kitchen. I hide my face as half of the sanctuary is at the kitchen. I hurry up & grab a bunch of things as I make my way in a rapid speed to get back to the room. All of my stuff falls out of my hand as I bump into someone.
"Watch where you're fucking going, sweetheart." I recognize that voice as I look up & see Negan smiling.
"You asshole." I bend down & pick up all the food I had dropped. A sense of guilt rises in me as I realize those were the first words I had spoken to him since last night.
As I have all of the food back in my arms, I walk to the room pushing past him not wanting to look him in the eye. I throw the food on the encounter & grab a plastic plate as I file the food on it. I sit on the bed stuffing my face feeling a sense of pleasure as the delicious food hits my tongue. Negan walks in as he takes off his leather jacket & throws it on the chair that's across the room from where I'm sitting.
"What a long fucking day." He says as he kicks his shoes off & looks at the sunset through the giant window that is casting light into the room.
I continue eating as if he's not even there. In the corner of my eye, I can see him staring at me making me uncomfortable.
"What's wrong with you?" He asks sounding a mix of annoyed & concerned.
"You." I put my plate on the bed & stand up with my arms crossed. "You're my fucking problem. You've ruined my goddamn life & I hope you rot in hell."
Negan leans back looking quite shocked that I said all of this. "Well, damn sweetheart." The room goes silent for a moment before he starts to speak once again. "How did I ruin your life? You live in paradise here."
My blood boils as he says that sentence. Paradise?! How dare he say that I think. "I didn't know paradise meant being suicidal everyday because I have a boyfriend that I don't even want to be with. I didn't know paradise meant knowing that I was never going to see my family again. I didn't know paradise meant crying myself to sleep every single day. So, Negan explain to me: what part of any of this is paradise for me?"
Negan looks down at his feet, lost with words. Tears start to fall as I wipe them away with my hand trying to not be weak.
"i-i-I'm sorry." His voice cracks as I get surprised at the fact he's on the verge of crying.
"No, Negan. You don't get to be sorry. You don't get to just be forgiven with a fake apology." As I say that, I storm off & out of the sanctuary with my head held high.
I decided that I was going to be myself. I decided that I was going down. I decided that I wasn't going to be Negan's property anymore.
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So, this story is kind of short & I apologize for that but I wanted to post something since it's almost been a week since my last part! I hope you guys enjoyed this story & I hope it wasn't boring or all over the place. Thanks for reading!!
