Selfharm/depressed/Dark poems

Part 19

;When you go to sleep do you think about everything that made you laugh or everything that made you cry?

;I'm suffering inside,

but nobody knows,

And  most of them will never know.

;Sometimes I think I've become to comfortable with sadness,

I wear it around my shoulder like a winter coat, to keep me warm,

How is it that sorrow has become my comfort...my..home?

I am afraid to move forward.

I am afraid to venture into uncharted territory that is...happiness.

Contentment is just within reach.

If I stretched my fingers far enough I could grasp it and pull it close.

Instead I cling to my darkness because it is familiar to me.

Why am I afraid to be in the light?

;What do you call it when all you feel is pain?

When your loved ones look at you and all you feel is shame?

When your tired of living and playing this game?

When you know your life is meaningless and your the only one to blame.

What do you call it when the hurt is in your soul?

When you smile and laugh but you know its all a show?

When you feel like you've hit your all time low?

When nothing makes you happy and the darkness around you grows?

What do you call it when you feel so alone?

When your in your house but it does not feel like home?

When you look back at your life and every choice you made feels wrong?

When the wait to die feels to long?

There's this poem.. it related to me so well.. I've been to hell and back.. I've done drugs, drank, cut, I've been abused and used.. I use to be so happy.. so innocent.. such a good happy young girl.

;Little girl,

loved and cared for,

Had a good life,

was once so happy,

at first,

she didn't believe the bullies,

but the death threats and name callings got to her,

her home was once her only escape,

until it became just like her bullies,

she cried everyday,

no one saw her tears,

she screamed,

nobody heard her,

she didn't eat,

nobody noticed,

she hurt so bad,

she went to the knife,

which was so nice when she went back every night,

nobody dared to care,

alone in this world,

abused and used,

drugs and drinking,

she dug into her arm,

and hit the vein,

she let herself go,

along with all the pain.