Selfharm/depressed/Dark poems

Part 17

:I don't want to be the girl who is always depressed,

cuts,

wears long sleeves andpants in summer,

Cries herself to sleep,

fakes smiles,

feels insecure ALL time,

and keeps everything bottles up...

:Every thought is a battle,

every breath is a war,

and I don't think

I'm winning anymore.

:why don't you understand how much your words are hurting me?

:sometimes you got to pretend everything is okay.

:You weren't just a star to me.. you were my whole damn sky.

:I'm slowly giving up

:I wonder what's it like to wake up and love yourself,

to look in the mirror and not want to cry,

to weigh yourself, see the number and not want to puke,

to be with friends and not feel ugly,

to go into public and not feel insecure,

to go shopping for clothes and not feel like,

I wonder,

what's its like to actually love your life..

so guys I'm so insecure... I just want to give up.. nobody cares about me.. I'm just tired of life.. ugh.. but I won't let life get me down, I'm here for a reason, I need to for fill it.. Right?