Selfharm/depressed/Dark poems

part 16

-I don't know what I want in life,

I don't know what I want right now,

All I know is that I'm hurting so much inside that its eating me so much inside that one day their won't be anything left of me.

-Everyone's leaving me, letting go or just watching me fall and the worst part is that they're the ones who said they would always be there for me.

-It sucks, you know, when everything is doing fine.

and it all crashes again...and the worst part is, i really don't want to try and put everything together again, but I have to.

-I don't know what I want in life,

I don't know what I want right now,

all I know is that I'm hurting so much inside that's it eating me inside and one day their won't be any of me left.

-sometimes we are broken inside and we don't know why.

-I walk around fooling myself, telling myself that Im happy...but you know what? I'm not, I'm not happy at all. I'm so teared up and broken and full of anger, sadness, hatred, and everything in between. I really can't do this. The way I feel right now is so over coming all the false happiness I've tried to build up. I'm really tired of feeling this way, I just want to die...

-Its getting harder and harder,

to pretend Im happy,

and that I don't cry myself to sleep every night,

my smile gets smaller,

my eyes get darker,

my wrist gets redder,

and I could think about is how much I want to die.

So this Sunday I went to see 'Reo' the guy that hurt me so bad.. I know.. I know I'm dumb.. but we just hung out, like yenno as just friends.. it took a long time but I decided I would ignore the history we have between each other and just hang out as friends which we did, we watched the hunger games and had a tickle war xD awe, it was nice just being with him, we were just friends, their was no pressure at all, it was just two friends hanging out :3
hmmm (:
but anywho, stay strong my love(s) :3
~Darling you'll be okay <3 ~

  (•.•)
\(   )/   *Free hugs* <3 <3 <3 :*
_/\_

                xoxo