Porcelain - A Marianas Trench/ Josh Ramsay fanfic

Chapter 48 - Then it hit me.

Chapter 48

"Why'd I have to fall in love with you!" Josh shouted.

I stayed at Josh's parents house for 2 days. Me and Sara caught up and I've now been home for six days. Day one back, Josh and I may or may not have had angry makeup sex. Day two back, we didn't talk, just kisses and snuggles. Day three back, the guys came over to write and did not come out of the room until day 5. Day six, Matt Ella and I graduated high school. It was a good feeling to be out of that hell hole. Day seven, also known as today. Josh and I got in another fight.

"Why do you have to ignore me!" I screamed.

"This music shit means a lot to me and you obviously don't care!" He yelled.

"You know what! I miss the days when it was us and only us! When you paid attention to me!" I screeched.

"You're such a selfish bitch!" He yelled.

That's it, that's when it occurred. I was a selfish bitch, I wasn't a nice person. I don't deserve a boyfriend like Josh, a bestfriend like Matt, honorary big brothers like Ian or Mike, a good girl friend to talk about guys to and hug when I'm sad like Ella. I didn't deserve this apartment. I didn't even deserve to live in Vancouver. I should be back in Ontario with Raine. I should leave Josh alone so he can focus.

I broke down. Tears streamed down my face. I ran up to Josh and hugged him.

"I have to leave." I chocked out.

"What? No! I take it all back Porce, I didn't mean it. You mean the world to me. You can't leave me." Josh said.

"I love you." I sobbed.

"Don't leave me." Josh cried.

"I'm ruining your life. It would be better for both of us." I said.

"No Porce, it wouldn't! Life wouldn't be the same." Josh said. I let go of him and sat down.

"That's the point Josh. I don't want it to be the same. I don't deserve any of this! This perfect life with you! Come on Ramsay, you need to focus on the music and not on me." I said.

"Please, don't leave." His voice broke and tears ran down his cheek. "I can make it up to you, I'll do anything."

"I'm so sorry I ever even moved here. I should've just stayed with Raine. I could've convinced my mom somehow. I JUST WISH MATT NEVER CAME OVER AND TOLD ME HE HAD A BAND! I WISH YOU NEVER GOT COCKY AND CALLED ME PORCELAIN. I WISH WE DIDN'T HAVE SEX AND FALL IN LOVE. I WISH THAT THIS YEAR DIDN'T HAPPEN BUT I CAN'T FIX THAT JOSH. I CAN'T HELP THAT I RUINED YOUR LIFE." I screamed.

"Shh, shh. Calm down." Josh said.

"I'm going to call Raine." I said and got up. I dialled her number. "Um, this is gonna sound weird but uh, do you have a extra bed?" I asked.

"What? I don't understand." Raine said.

"I'm leaving Vancouver." I said. I explained everything and she tried to talk me out of it, but she understood. "I'll see you later." Isaid.

"Bye Cae." She said. I hung up and Josh came in.

"Look Porc-" Josh said but I stopped him.

"Just shut up and kiss me." I cracked a smile and he came right up to me. This kiss was different than others, it was so passion filled, so full of love. Our kiss stopped by a knock at the door. I opened it up and Matt stood outside. "Hey Matty." I said.

"How's it going?" Matt asked. Fucking terrible, I'm having a mental break down because I ruined my boyfriends life. I wanted to say.

"Matt, I'm leaving Vancouver. It's best for all of us." I spat out.

"What? No, you can't. You're my best friend!" Matt begged.

"And you're mine. I just, I can't stay. I realised that I'm ruining Josh's life by staying around. Constant fights, me being a bitch, he needs to focus on Marianas stuff. Please understand." I begged back.

"Caelyn..." He said trying to fight back tears. "When I came over to your place that day you moved, I was trying to flirt with you, but then I realised how good of a person you were and I wanted to be friends. I don't wanna loose that." Matt said.

"And you won't. You'll have the memories. And I knew you weren't the welcoming comity." I chuckled and hugged him.

"When are you leaving?" Matt asked.

"ASAP. I haven't checked out flights or packed anything yet, but you know. I still have to tell Mike, Ian, Ella, Sara, and my mom. It's gonna be rough." I sighed.

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BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING BITCHES. Don't hate on me oh god no. There's going to be a sequel on the 8th called So Soon! Final Chapters tomorrow!