He sighed lowly to himself. "I love you too though"
"You don't..." I replied.
"Why don't you believe me?"
"Because you screamed it to me Jay, right after we conceived our daughter. I will never forget that...." I looked at him with tears pouring dow...
"You know what, this calls for some celebrating. You in?"
"To do?"
"How about you share this weed with me and then let's go over to Tommy's"
"You wanna get a tattoo?"
"Hell yeah. Watch when it's 12th grade year and I'm all tatted up like a mug. But here, take a puff before we go so you can be calm" she handed me a brown rollie.
I slid the hit into my mouth and held it up, watching her ignite the end with her lighter. "Now don't breathe in okay, just hold it until I say exhale"
I nodded and held it in, feeling the chemicals invade my body and down to my lungs. Holding for dear life and afraid of what can happen if I breathed in, I squeezed my eyes close.
"Exhale.."
Breathing finally, I snatched the hit down and exhaled, feeling something go down the wrong pipe.
*Coughs*😲😷
"Oh shit–*coughs*Kehl–*coughs*Kehlani?" I coughed constantly.
"You good? What happen?" she patted me on the back.
"I think I exhaled too quickly–"
"Yeah, that can happen, but what you think?"
I nodded my head slowly. "Hit me again" I slid it back in.
:: 2 hours later ::🕞🕞✨
"What you looking to get lil mama?" Tommy asked me, after I sat in the chair in front of him.
I blushed. "I think I want something small, you know. Since this is my first time"
"Small like what? A heart? A crown" ...and then it came to me, My grandmother.
"A ribbon. A breast cancer ribbon"
"How come?"
"My grandmother, is um....–she has breast cancer right now. And I love her more than anything, so why not get a sign of hope tatted on to me. And I want it under my breast too"
"That's sweet lil mama, you dedicated. You ready to get started now?"
I nodded and sat back in the chair, taking off my shirt to expose my bra to him.
"Woah woah woah. What are you doing?" Kehlani came back from the bathroom and was confused as to why I was shirtless.
"Relax. I'm just about to get my tattoo"
"Where at, that you got be shirtless?" she stood beside me.
"I'm getting a breast cancer ribbon underneath my bra. In honor of my grandma"
"Awe that's nice. Well I wish you luck, don't squeeze my hand too hard now"
I gave her a look and reached up to grab her wrist, hearing the machine start up with a light shinning down on top of me. Feeling the needle pinch through my skin, I breathed and bit my lips to take the pain. They weren't kidding when they said it was a needle.
"Sss–Mmmmm. Fu–"
"Just focus through the pain, it makes it go away, Diya. The pain is not your enemy" She said, seeing my face scrunched up.
"Yeah yeah yeah, okay"
I relaxed a little and turned my head to the side, not letting the pain get to me from Kehlani's coaching.
"Atta girl" she praised me, making me smile.
Just a few minutes later, my tattoo was finished and very tender. The artist gave me instructions on how to keep it fresh and healthy and then I got up to watch Kehlani get hers.
And that was my story behind my first tattoo...
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And so, after I got my first tattoo and lost my virginity, I felt........different. Different than how I used to be. I felt like I was the sh*t honestly and I could do anything adults could. But I was stupid and way over my head back then. After getting some d*ck, I just really started acting out😒
But losing my virginity to that piece of sh*t wasn't nearly as crazy as what happened later that same month. The one thing I regret most of all in my 30 plus years of life, like I said previously.
