My Protector (Seventeen JunHao)

Chapter 29: Telling the Members

Jun's p.o.v.

"Are you okay?" Minghao asked as I took deep breaths to try and calm down.

"I-I don't k-know." I stuttered in a quiet voice, unsure how my voice was going to sound after everything that just happened.

"Here." I looked up and Jeonghan was handing me a glass of water but refused it, still feeling nauseous and like I could throw up at any moment. "You should drink something."

"I can't." I said but didn't Jeonghan didn't stop trying to give me water. "I feel like I'm going to throw up."

"Well then you drink this and I'll sit in the bathroom with you in case you do." He said. "I think you just sweated out half of the water in your body so you need to drink something."

I nodded, agreeing to do what Jeonghan said but as he helped me to stand up I nearly fell down again as I felt so dizzy that I thought I'd pass out.

"Okay how about we just bring a bucket out here in case he needs to get sick." S.coups said, helping Jeonghan to steady me. "Someone go grab one and we'll get him to the couch."

After they did Jeonghan handed me the water and made me drink at least half of it. A bucket was set at my feet and everyone stared at me.

"What's going on hyung?" Minghao asked. "Does this have anything to do with me?"

"No, it's nothing to do with you Minghao." I said. "Like I said during practice it's just family stuff."

"Jun." S.coups said my name sternly to make me look at him. "You just had a panic attack about whatever is happening. You need to tell us what happened."

"Don't worry." Jeonghan said softly. "You can trust us, okay?"

"I know that I can trust you guys." I said, now remembering everything again, making my stomach feel even worse than it already did. "It's just that saying it out loud makes everything that happened real and I don't want it to be real."

"Hyung, what is it?" Minghao pleaded.

I was about to start explaining when I realized that if I opened my mouth that I would throw up. I put a hand to my mouth and leaned back on the couch. It didn't take anyone long to realize why I was doing that. Multiple people went to grab the bucket and hand it to me. I just shook my head, thinking it would pass.

"Jun, don't do that." Jeonghan said and sat in front of me on the floor, placing a hand on my knee. "If you think you're going to be sick, just do it."

I was going to tell him that I was fine but as I opened my mouth I instantly threw up. Luckily I leaned forwards in the process and everything went within the bucket that was placed on my lap.

"What is wrong Jun?" Jeonghan said when I was done and everything was cleaned up. "Don't say you're fine because you clearly are not. Whatever is bothering you has made you have a panic attack and now physically sick. You need to talk to us."

"I can't go home." I said blankly, feeling I had to get this over with. "I can never go home again."

Tears rolled down my cheeks but I didn't sob or anything, they just fell.

"What do you mean?" Minghao said, clearly as confused as everyone else judging by the expressions in the room. "Of course you can go home. Maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow but not never."

I shook my head. "My mom just told me that my father is going to never let me into my house again."

"What, why?" Minghao asked and then gasped. "It can't be because..."

I nodded, knowing what he was going to say.

"Oh my god." Minghao said and buried his face in his hands. "I'm so sorry hyung."

I laughed bitterly. "The worse part is I wanted him to know. Maybe not find out the way he did but I actually wanted to tell him and he reacts like this."

"What are you talking about?" Jeonghan spoke up, seeing as only Minghao knew what was happening right now.

"My father won't let me go home because...," I paused, taking a deep breath and closing my eyes. "because I'm gay."

Everyone was quiet for quite awhile before I decided to keep talking.

"He was so angry when he found out. I was so scared. I thought he was going to beat me or something." I said as more tears fell from my eyes. "My mother already knew and I had plans to tell him but he found out before I could. I didn't realize how angry he was until he grabbed me and made me look at him."

"Jun I'm so sorry." Wonwoo spoke now, obviously understanding what I went through.

"That's why I flinch when you tried to touch me earlier Seungcheol hyung, why I haven't been able to look people in the eyes lately, and why I've been distracted and not sleeping." I told them. "I was so afraid of the outcome and kept thinking and reliving what happened the night he found out."

"How did he find out?" Jeonghan asked before covering his mouth because he realized he already knew how my father found out. "I'm sorry maybe you don't want to say that."

I looked over at Minghao and he nodded, meaning it was okay. "Jeonghan hyung already knows but for everyone else. My little brother found Minghao and I kissing in the practice room and told both our parents."

"I didn't want my parents to know yet and so I got angry at Junnie hyung." Minghao said sadly. "That's what caused all that drama a week or so ago. I'm sorry hyung I had no idea something like that had happened. I thought both your parents were okay with it."

"It's okay Minghao." I said. "You didn't know because I didn't tell you. It's my own fault that I suffered alone."

"Well, you don't need to anymore." Jeonghan said and placed both his hands on my knees now. "We're here for you and if you ever feel like it's all too much again, you can talk to us, okay?"

I looked up from Jeonghan and everyone was smiling encouragingly at me.

"Okay." I whispered, feeling like I might cry but this time from happiness.

I really trusted all the members with my whole heart and I'm really glad that this is where I ended up.

"You told me before to trust you with my feelings, do you remember that?" Minghao asked and I nodded, a small smile on my face as I remembered that night when we slept in Minghao's bed together. "You should follow your own advice, okay? Trust me with your feelings. Please, I never want to see you go through what you went through this evening, okay?"

I nodded, the tears I felt earlier now falling at I started sobbing. "O-okay."

Minghao pulled me into a hug and I just started sobbing into his shoulder. Then another hand started rubbing my back and I assumed it was Jeonghan because he had been sitting right in front of me the whole time.

"Everything will be okay." Jeonghan said. "We'll figure this out together."

Despite my heavy crying, I smiled hearing that.

There were 12 other people in this room who made up the best family I could ever ask for.

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Why do I make shit so dramatic

So I've finished writing all of this story now. I feel you guys will be happy with the ending.

Despite the fact there will be even more drama...

Hope you all enjoy this story!