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House Pride

House Pride by @SkyBlue9751

Okay, I read your friend's story Just Dotty. and I loved it. It's only natural that I love yours too.

I read the description thinking I was about to read an emotional tale of two friends who try to change the Hufflepuff stereotype. And I was all excited because I love stories about Hufflepuffs. But, I press read and the first sentence is, and I quote...

"Shit."

I have to tell you I laughed, and it's because all of my expectations had literally flown out the window, but in a good kinda way.

If I didn't like the humor of this story, I would point out that Tumblr didn't exist during that time period, and that characters don't just randomly snog. I might also tell you that your characters are all low key Mary Sues, but I found everything that was inaccurate and cliche to add to the humor. I don't know if funny is what you were going for, but your story is hiLaRiOuS.

Like, Cedric is such a drama queen and that's super comical. And the gay jokes made me crack up every time because he'd get really defensive.

And everything Amy says makes me laugh. From the cursing to yelling, "cover your stump before you hump," I would laugh. Her (your?) character totally brightened my day. Thanks.

There was one thing I'd—I don't want to say take out—change about your story. You mentioned something about Lee having abs. Does Lee have abs? I didn't think Lee has abs...

Oh, and the Taylor Swift song, as your friend Holly pointed out, wasn't released until a couple decades after your story takes place. And I am going to point out the Tumblr thing. Even if it did exist, they wouldn't be able to access it at Hogwarts. Muggle devices don't work.

And I feel like this Shaun guy seems pretty unnecessary too. Idk if you've got plans for him or if he's another one of your friends you've added in, but I think you should give him some more appearances throughout the story so far. He only appears like, twice.

You do have some interesting cliffhangers and plot twists. Like, I literally couldn't stop reading it, and your grammar and spelling is all really good, so there were no problems in that department. Also, I like the Cho Chang thing. And, the names they came up with for her are priceless.

And the nicknames for everyone are just perfect. McGoogles? I think I laughed so hard I shook my house. Just the way Amy thinks is so relatable to how I think, and she is the confident person I wish I was. But, at the same time, some of the things that happened weren't at all realistic. It's brilliant, but so unrealistic.

Brilliantly unrealistic, if you will.

I don't know if humor is what you were going for, but it's totally working for you, so I suggest sticking with it. And, if anyone reading this review is looking for something to brighten their day, you should read House Pride. Like, there is no way you'd regret it unless you've got no sense of humor or you've got no soul.

-Jtsquared4