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The Pocket Twins and the Mysterious Markings

The Pocket Twins and the Mysterious Markings by @CedaFish

(Okay, first: FANTASTIC BEASTS AM I RIGHT!!?!?!?)

Okay, I found this story very interesting, but it's a bit confusing and parts are a bit vague. The characters are all amazing, but it's hard to keep track of them. I was very confused about the setting at first (I recall something about cows maybe?? Idk...), but I think I know who everyone is now and where they are, so that's all good!

I feel like if you described the setting a bit better less confusion would occur. Or that's just me; I get confused a lot.

The grammar in your story is on point! You go, you little grammar nerd! (Nah, jk I'm the real grammar nerd here lol)

I love your plot. It's not centered around a ship, but a pair of twins. I think your idea is amazing and await more amazeballs chapters in the future!

And don't get me started on your descriptions! They're fabulous. You've crafted this whole family and described them extremely well without flat out saying "she is pretty" or "he is young". YASS!

Okay, now that I reread this review I realize it starts out a bit harshly... I apologize. I probably should use that compliment sandwich...

Anyway, don't let that bring you down! You can build up your setting and help your readers understand the characters! I like the dialogue you used—it helped me figure out the characters—but I'm not saying change your whole story to dialogue. Don't do that!

DONT EVER DO THAT THERE IS A SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH DIALOGUE IM JUST GOING TO LEAVE THIS HERE FOR EVERYONE TO REFERENCE.

Your dialogue is great, your characters are great, and your plot is brilliant, but I feel like your descriptions can be improved to build on the greatness you've already created.

Now I'm gonna flat out say it, "Pocket Twins is brilliant! I virtually send you best wishes of good writing and a happy Fantastic Beasts franchise."

Jtsquared4

(If you haven't already just GO SEE FANTASTIC BEASTS I JUST WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT BUT I DONT WANT TO SPOIL ANYTHING FIR ANYONE BECAUSE EVERYONE DESERVES TO DISCOVER THE MAGIC OF NEWT AND JACOB AND TINA AND QUEENIE FOR THEMSELVES SO PLEASE NO ONE SPOIL ANYTHING IF YOU WANT TO DISCUSS IT MESSAGE MY PERSONAL ACCOUNT I LOVE IT SO MUCH!

Wow... I guess I'm no longer the grammar nerd judging by what I just wrote. Complete run-on sentence right there. Classic example of a don't.)