HP Fanfiction Help (closed for catch up)

Behind the Mask {Lucy Weasley}

Behind the Mask by @MissForeverFangirl

I love that you used Lucy Weasley as your main character. Not many people know about Lucy, so it's great that you wrote a fanfic about her!

Okay, I'm not a HP expert, and I know not everyone is, so I think you could go into more details about her parents. Please write in somewhere that Lucy is the daughter of Percy. It would avoid a lot of unnecessary confusion for the readers who have only watched the movies or the ones who just, idk, forgot.

And since a lot of readers on this site have only watched the movies, you should also explain who all of the other children are like Dominique and Fred and even the common ones, Albus, James, and Lily. It would avoid so many comments like, "who's that?"

And the family quidditch game could've been explained better, I think. Maybe you could explain who won in years prior and who played what position.

And the team names were a little... idk bland-ish. Really, would the Weasleys use simple names like Snitch and Quaffle? They'd name their team something silly like Merlin's Hairy Armpits. That's just my two sense, so do whatever you want with the names it's really not that big of a deal.

Your grammar and punctuation is really good, and I like the chapter length as well. You've got strong characters, and you're story is going places.

I like where this story is going! Keep up the great writing! :)

-Jtsquared4