HP Fanfiction Help (closed for catch up)

Beyond Borders {Albus Severus Potter}

Beyond Borders by @just_veronicas

Names are great things. Every character needs a name, and every name needs to suit that character. I'm sure you chose your names for a reason, and they are beautiful names, but... they're very similar.

We've got something in common! We both use the letter A for every name ever! I've got Aquila, Alexis, and Abby; you've got Adeline and Amelia. Both such beautiful names, but so, so close together.

I'm not telling you to rename your characters (don't do that), but please try to make us confused readers (mainly me) know the difference between the two. You've described Ilvermorny so well, now describe your characters.

What part of Amelia stands out the most? What's Adelina's defining physical feature? How big are their noses? Do they even have noses? ARE THEY VOLDEMORT!?!

Okay, keep the descriptions of your characters short though. Nothing irritates sane people more than reading a head to toe description of a character from the color of her toenails to the perfectly curled blue and pink hair on her head. Just give us the important things.

If your character is tall, tell us. If your character has odd colored hair, tell us. If your character is wearing a knee high, sparkly, light blue dress and shimmering silver hoop earrings and her nails are painted and her eyes are color changing and—

STOP.

You should describe your characters, but not that much. THIS APPLIES TO EVERYONE ON WATTPAD.

You didn't do that by any means; you just didn't describe enough for me to picture the character. You've gotta describe, but not bedazzle.

In conclusion, the only thing I'd suggest adding in is a description of your characters. Everything else is beautiful. Keep up the excellent writing!

(Also, it's a great idea to explain Ilvermorny in the beginning! Some people might not know some of that stuff, and it's a really good thing to have good idea!)

~Jtsquared4

Also, sorry for ranting... I've just got a lot of feelings.