HP Fanfiction Help (closed for catch up)

Hour of the Raven {Regulus Black}

Hour of the Raven {Regulus Black} by @destielwinchester07

I honestly don't know how to feel about this story. I know you're only eight chapters in, and I WAS speed-reading a bit so I might've missed something, but I haven't seen Raven even interact with Regulus once yet.

He is supposed to be the love interest, but he hasn't even made an appearance yet. I'm sure you have a plan for him to come into the story (if you didn't, it wouldn't be about Regulus), so I don't really think this is an issue, but I just wanted to mention that.

I know starting off a review with YOURE DOING EVERYTHING WRONG isn't very chivalrous of me, so let's talk about the positives!

I like Raven. She is a true Gryffindor in my eyes. She'll stand up for what she believes in, she won't take crap from nobody, and she'll burn you with a crazy good comeback if you question her. Nice job on her.

All of your characters are on fleek! Good job!

I'm going to go back to critic mode now, if you don't mind...

I like James and Sirius in your story. You stay true to their personalities, but there is one little thing that gets a bit annoying... when they finish each other's sentences. I can't even begin to describe how annoying that is. It's like two crazy girls. Creative... but annoying.

And a lot of your sentences have no periods

I'm triggeeeerrrrrred

(Lol just a joke, I'm only slightly triggered.)

Then James constantly blurting out for Jesus to hear that he's "in love with Lily!" If I read this correctly, James is twelve... I don't think he's in love...

OR IS HE?!?!

DUN DUN DUNNNN!!

Geez, I feel like I focused way too much on the bad in this one, but it's actually really good! I enjoyed reading it! Don't let the haters (me) get you down! You have a really good plot going! Keep writing!

(Jk I'm not really a hater lol)

-Jtsquared4