HP Fanfiction Help (closed for catch up)

The Werewolf Diaries {Remus Lupin}

The Werewolf Diaries by @Fantasy_Shifter

Okay, we all have read Remus Lupin fanfics about the girl who is also a werewolf, and they don't know they're both werewolves, but they fall in love, and it's all incredibly cliché. And these stories plague the HP fanfic category.

Even though your character Skyler is (I don't want to say cliché, but...), um, overused in a sense, your story is different. All of the stories are different. I'm not bashing your story, I'm just warning you; please don't make them suddenly just know that they're both wolves. Try to make it more of an "over time" thing.

And she can't just be okay with it. There should be some amount of shock too. Even though she's got the same problem, it's not a common thing. (OH MAYBE HE CAN FIND OUT FIRST THATS DIFFERENT BOOM)

Okay, dialogue punctuation works like so:

"The period goes inside the quotes."

If someone is speaking, use a comma before the he said/she said. "Like this," Jessica said.

Okay, and I remember reading something like, "I'm such a monster... But I gotta blast because I'm going to school tomorrow!" It came out of nowhere, (it was in chapter one) and I think there is a better way to transition into talking about Hogwarts. That seemed really sudden.

And I'd choose one to call your first part. Don't say "Prologue/Chapter 1". Just stick with Chapter 1. I think that would fit best.

And your title should be capitalized as well.

And I totally get that you don't like Peter. I don't have the same feelings as you, and I feel like I'm talking politics right now (probably because I'm listening to Politiclash by Jon Cozart).

If you don't like Peter, that's totally fine because yeah, what he became isn't great at all. But you can't fight me on this, Peter was the little innocent pancake who tagged along with James and Sirius and Remus. He was probably super cute and like socially awkward and adorable. When you're writing the story, try not to think about the crackhole rat boy; think about happy little Peter.

Okay please do it for me thanks :)

Please be extra careful with the cliches and don't FALL INTO THE TRAP! YOURE DOING SO GOOD THIS FAR! ID HATE FOR THIS EXCELLENT PIECE OF WORK TO TURN INTO EVERY OTHER FANFIC!! KEEP IT UP!

YOURE DOING GREAT AND YOUR WRITING IS FANTASTIC!

-Jtsquared4