Fandom Imagines

~*~John & Sherlock - grieving~*~

---SEASON 4 SPOILERS---

It had all fallen apart. Everyone's whole world had come tumbling down all over again in that aquarium when that bitch shot... shot Mary. John hasn't been himself at all. He won't talk or even acknowledge Sherlock, he barely talks to me and Molly; only about Rosie to us and if we could look after he while he tries to distract himself with work. But what's hurting me the most to see is how quickly Sherlock and Johns relationship has gone to nothing. I was there that day, and it wasn't Sherlock fault for Mary's death. He would have taken the bullet to save everyone there. Even I didn't see Mary throwing herself in front of him in time to protect him.

The cry of Rosie brought me back from my thoughts and I quickly stood and went over to her, picking her up and rocking her in my arms.
"It's okay Rosie, auntie (Y/n)'S got you." I smiled sadly, looking to the clock to see it was only 2:37pm. John wouldn't be home for a few hours, and I was bored in the house with just Rosie. It didn't feel right to be here without thinking of Mary and right now I didn't want to be reminded of her. So I put Rosie back into her cot and packed up a day out bag, remembering food and her favourite toys before dressing her for the cold and putting her in the pram, leaving Johns house and heading down the street.

It was a good half hour walk before I stopped outside the door. I knew this wasn't the best idea in mind, but I knew we both needed to grieve and he would just bottle everything up. I knocked on the door twice, and a couple of seconds later Mrs Hudson opened the door. A smile broke on her face and she saw Rosie and he bent down as best she could to stroke her cheek.
"She looks a lot like her mother at such a young age." She commented, and my smile faltered a little before I caught myself.
"Is Sherlock home?" I asked, deciding not to reply to her comment and she nodded, allowing me in as I walked past her and took Rosie out her pram, carrying her on my hip up the stairs.
"(Y/n), dear." Mrs Hudson called and I stopped to turn and face her. "He may not show it, but he's very upset right now. So be careful."
"I will Mrs Hudson." I smiled before continuing up the stairs. Stopping at the door, I listened for any noises before walking into the living room, where I was greeted with the usually messy living room and Sherlock, curled up in his chair with his head resting on the arm, looking fast asleep. I smiled sympathetically towards him, he must had fallen asleep from the draining of emotions. I placed Rosie down on the couch, making sure she couldn't fall off before walking over to Sherlock and crouching down in front of his sleeping form.
"Sherlock." I whispered, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "Wake up sleepy detective, you ha e a visiter." He groaned in response before slowly opening his eyes, squinting at me.
"Who is it (Y/n)?"
"Afternoon to you too." I smiled at him, kissing his cheek before standing up as he pushed himself into a sitting position.
"Is it a client? I told Lestrade not to-" But Sherlock was cut off when Rosie made a gurgling noise, making him snap his head in her direction. "Why is she here?"
"Don't you want to see you?"
"John didn't allow this. She can't be here."
"But Sherlock-"
"No!" He barked at me, standing up and stepping closer to me. "He told everyone he doesn't want my assistance, he doesn't want me anywhere near him or her. I can't go against my only friends request even if it hurts me." He turned to a whisper at the end, looking down at the ground before looking to Rosie.
"Then blame me." I spoke, placing my hand on his arm. "Sherlock your grieving over your lost friend, you can't keep it to yourself bottled up, it isn't healthy." You went and picked up Rosie, walking back over to Sherlock. "Help me look after her? I'm bored at Johns and I know she's been missing seeing you." He smiled down at me as I handed him Rosie, him turning his attention to her as she grabbed his finger and giggled up at him.

The bang of the door down stairs made both mine and Sherlock head snap up to look at each over, a look of panic wash over Sherlocks face for a few seconds indicating John had arrived. I smiled reassuringly at him and mouthed 'blame me' just before the living room door banged open, a pissed off John standing in the doorway.
"Hey John. Look Rosie, daddy's back." I smiled, pointing at John as Rosie giggled in Sherlocks lap from the couch we were all sitting on.
"Why are you here?" He growled, his hands in fists at his sides as he glared daggers at me. "Why did you bring Rosie here?"
"I was bored at yours and I assumed Rosie would want to see her uncle."
"He is no uncle to her!" He yelled, and Rosie's face looked like she was about to cry. I scoffed at John before quickly taking her from Sherlock, rocking her as I walked to Sherlocks bedroom where I made a temporary bed for her with his duvet. I could Year the yells from John through the door and once Rosie had fallen asleep I exited the room and went back into the living room, listening to the heated argument.
"You broke your promise Sherlock! You said you'd protect her and you failed that! How could you!? And you even have the guts to have Rosie round here while I'm at work is sick! You are a sick, arrogant, liar of a man!"
"John, it was not my intention to-"
"Bullshit! You did t save her! How dare you!?" Suddenly Johns fist lifted into the air and in one motion he'd punched Sherlock right in the face, making him stumble back with a hand to his right cheek.
"JOHN HAMISH WATSON AND WILLIAM SHERLOCK SCOTT HOMES!!!" I yelled at the top of my voice, tears threatening to fall down my face. They both turned to look at me, there faces calming down from what they felt. "I'm sick of this. I'm sick of watching you to go from caring about each other to the bond you have breaking to a thin thread. John it wasn't Sherlocks fault."
"But how-"
"Because Mary jumped in front of the bullet." I said. John starred at me for a few seconds as before turning to face Sherlock.
"Is this true?" He asked, his voice horse.
"I'm afraid so."
"She jumped in front of the bullet that was shot at Sherlock to save his life. How can you blame the man that your wife protected by taking her own? She wouldn't want you to be angry at him. He's your best friend, he never wanted for this to happen and here you are, acting like he was the one that killed her." John chocked on a sob, tears visible in his eyes.
"John?" Sherlock asked, looking at his friend with a look of concern and worry.
"I'm sorry Sherlock," John sobbed, covering his face with his hands. "I'm so sorry." Sherlock looked tonne for help and I walked over to John, pulling him into a hug.
"It's okay. You have nothing to feel sorry for."
"We are here for you John. Don't ever doubt that." Sherlock spoke up, resting a hand in his friends shoulder.
"Let us all grieve together, help each other through this." I spoke, pulling back to kiss Johns head. "We'll get through this. The three of us."