One Piece Oneshots

Bartolomeo X Reader

GreenR: *yaaaaaawwwnnnn* Law, do we have any cookies?

Law: no

GreenR: are you suuuuure?

Law: yes

GreenR: absolutely certain?

Law: yes.

GreenR: then what are you eating?

Law: cookies. Oh, wait. *greenie grabs the bowl from him*

GreenR: *munch munch munch munch* Beeeeepoooooo!!!!

Bepo: *runs in* what is it Green-san?

GreenR: *teary eyed* h-he is so stupid....

Bepo: *le demon mode* WHAT DID YOU DO NOW CAPTAIN?!?!?!?

Law: *little scared, lots of angry* nothing!!!

GreenR: that's what they always say.....

Bepo: *attacks Law and chases him around the house while Greenie eats her cookies*

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You leaned against the hard stone wall of Colosseum, so the guards wouldn't see you and stared at the fighting rink. You felt like crawling out of your tattooed skin of embarrasement, as you watched that stupid chicken-headed captain of yours screaming to whole stadium to go to hell. Why was he always like that?

You looked at the fight, hoping the things would get better, but as the others fought, he just layed there, picking on his nose. Oh you were gonna kick his ass for that stupid acting later. He was sooo dead. When he finally engaged with the fight, you started going downstairs to greet him, you knew he was going to win anyways. Spoilers ;)

He grinned at you when he walked in, hands in his pockets like he had absolutely no care in this world. Well, that was about to change. Your happy grin over his victory turned into a grim stare and his smile slowly faded too.

"What the hell were you thinking!?" You earned a few curious stares as you marched to him and hit him in the ribs. Since it was you he let it slide and didn't use any barriers, but you were pretty sure he didn't even feel the hit. "We already have a reputation as  злой (evil) crew," you slipped into another language for a second, but didn't even notice it. "And now you go and make things even worse! ばか! (Stupid) Идиот!" (Idiot)

"So what?" He shrugged. "It's not like anyone cares. Well, except you."

"It might come as a surprise to you," you started pacing back and forth in front of him as you lectured him, other contestants looking at you with funny expressions. Really, hadn't they ever seen young girl giving mad lecture to a pretty ill-reputed and crazy captain? "But none of the guys really like it if they are kicked out of bars and stuff because they are in your crew."

"And what's more," you raised a finger when you saw he was going to say something, "tá sé i ndáiríre annoying nuair a bhíonn muid Stán ag. (It is annoying being stared at.) Like some freaks."

"Ain't my fault," he picked on his nails with bored expression, trying to pretend he totally understood what you were saying. But inside he was thinking how many languages you actually knew.  "You guys are pretty noticeable."

"No flattery now," you said sternly and put your hands on your hips. Then you leaned your head back and sighed. "Is it even worth telling you all that?"

"Dunno. Didn't work last time," he looked up from his nails and grinned, seeing your tired expression. You opened your arms and smiled back at him.

"Alright then, c'mere," but instead you stepped closer and gave him a hug. "I'm really proud of you cap'n. That was a good fight."

"Wasn't much of a fight. They're all weaklings," he said annoyedly as he started feeling really warm in your hands. Not that he would ever say anything. And he quite liked the jealous stares others were giving you two. Especially Cavendish, who was chewing furiously on a rose, trying to suppress his anger.

"If you say so," you let go of him and took a step back. "Want me to stay and watch the next half too or should I go....?"

"Am I your nanny or something? Do what you want." Please stay please stay please stay, he was thinking, hoping you would understand his brainwaves and somehow get it. Huh, like that was ever going to happen.

"Alrighty, I'll go wait until the next round then," you gave him thumbs up and skipped away. Well, at least you tried. Before you could leave, your way was blocked by your archnemesis. Just kidding, he was just a colossal assbutt. I mean, who has archnemesis on this day and hour? *cough* Sherlock *cough*

"Cabbage," you smiled forcedly. Man's face turned red which made quite interesting contrast with his blond hair.

"Told you before- it's Cavendish," he gave you a rose he hadn't eaten yet. "And what are you doing here, Y/N? Surely you aren't involved with that," he pointed at your captain, "over there." You raised your eyebrow, judgingly. If you wanted, your eyebrows were judgy enough to run a court.

"Sweetheart, that over there is my captain and I would highly appreciate it," your tone turned icy enough to freeze vodka, "if yoi would show him the respect he deserves."

"Deserves?" Cavendish snorted. "In what dimension?"

"Sweetheart," your hands balled into fists. "I have used sarcasm instead of punching you in the face so far. Don't push it."

"Like a little girl as you could do any harm," he cackled and your fist shot forwards, hitting him in the face. Terrifying pain shat through your whole arm and you heard a sharp crack from your fingers. You did your best to keep your face straight as you pulled your hand away.

All around you stared at you shockedly and you pulled your hood over your face and hurried away before the guards could arrest you. You went into a little darker corridor and took a good look at your fingers. The pointing finger was already swollen and purplish.

"Holy frick frack!" You gasped and used your teeth to rip off a leather strips that were wrapped around your wrists. You tied the hurt finger together with okay one and let out an exasperated breath. That hurt like hell.

"Well that was useless of you," you turned around and pouted.

"How can you say so? I can always be used as a bad example," he stared at you with stoned expression and held his hand out. "What is it?"

"How bad is it?" You gave him your hand with a sigh and he looked at your made-up bandages.

"Just one finger, it'll be fine," you waved it off and tried to pull your hand back, but he was still holding it. "I just couldn't stand his insolence."

"Insolence?" He let out a sharp laugh. "He is a pirate, he probably doesn't even know what that means."

"Yeah, sure. Let go now," you yanked your arm back but he still didn't let go. Instead he pulled you closer to hug you. "What are you doing?"

"I don't know. I heard it's called hug," he joked. "You didn't have to do it. One day you're going to die for punching people."

"Don't worry, I can handle it i come from a long line of lunatics," you pulled a small metal flask out of his pocket and opened it. "Sorry, I need some painkillers now," and with that you gulped most of the liquid down. "Oh man, that helped."